The Family Expansion

Molluscum Contagiosum

2012-02-09T14:01:00.000-07:00

A couple people have emailed me asking about Mihret's bumps. While in Ethiopia, I was gifted with an email of information from a friend, who works within the BC health system. Although I knew what they were, I had some denial while reading the confirmation of what they were simply because in reading things contagious, you get nervous.

Mihret has molluscum contagiosum on her face, and one on her chest. In Ethiopia, we treated some of them through curettage, as noted below, only as they were ready to burst to alleviate the possibility of it spreading further on Mihret, or to the rest of us. They are highly contagious, in that they spread very easy. Since we have been home, only the one on her chest has needed to be treated, and I again did that through cutterage [partially because she had burst it by accident and it was HUGE].

Today Mihret had her first doctor's appointment with our family physician. She doesn't see the pediatrician until the end of the month. He confirmed the information and treatment of the molluscum. Through good hygiene [to alleviate further spreading to her and others] and healthy nutrition [to keep the inside of the body clean], they will continue to cycle through and disappear. This could take up to six months.

What is molluscum contagiosum?

Molluscum contagiosum is a viral infection of the skin caused by a poxvirus. The virus is easily spread but not harmful.

What are the symptoms?

The symptoms can appear anytime from 2 weeks to 6 months after contact with the virus. They begin as tiny painless bumps and grow over several weeks to become small, firm, waxy, pinkish-white, raised lesions, which may have a small crater in the centre of them. The bumps may become swollen and turn red as the body's natural way of fighting the virus.

In children, these symptoms or bumps may appear on the face, body, legs and arms. In adults, these bumps can occur almost anywhere on the body. If the viral infection is sexually transmitted, these symptoms are usually found on the abdomen, groin, external genitals, buttocks or thighs. Molluscum contagiosum is contagious until the bumps are gone.

How does the infection spread?

The infection can spread from one part of the body to another or to other people. The infection is spread by direct skin-to-skin contact, scratching the lesions or bumps, touching objects that have the virus on them, or through sexual contact. In children, the symptoms can be spread to the genital area by scratching.

If you have symptoms, contact your doctor or health care provider. You can also call 811 and speak to a registered nurse.

Who is at risk?

Anyone who has skin-to-skin contact with an infected person is at risk of getting the infection. While molluscum contagiosum is most common among children under 10 years of age, the infection can affect anyone. In young adults, molluscum contagiosum is primarily a sexually transmitted infection (STI). The infection can be more severe among people with a weaker immune system.

Although it is found throughout the world, molluscum contagiosum is more common in places with warm, humid climates.

How is it treated?

In some cases, lesions or bumps may persist for years, but they usually go away without treatment in 2 to 6 months. If these symptoms appear around the eyes, they may be treated to prevent irritation. Treatment of symptoms in the genital area will prevent them from spreading to partners through sexual contact.

Home treatment includes trying not to scratch lesions or bumps and using bandages to cover them.
If the symptoms cause concern, or to stop them from spreading, a doctor may use any of the following treatments:

Cryotherapy - freezing and removing the bumps with liquid nitrogen;

Curettage - removing the viral material in the centre of the lesion or bump; or

Medication - applying medication to the lesions or bumps to help them go away.

There's Hope Still!

2012-02-03T16:32:00.000-07:00

February 3, 2012

Dear CAFAC families and friends,

We mentioned in our February 1st correspondence to you that CAFAC would be unable to continue provision of services beyond February 3rd. Since then, new information has become available to us. The Board of Directors is holding an emergency meeting tomorrow morning to discuss it. We promise to provide you with as much information as we can as soon as we can. Unfortunately we cannot provide any details at this time.

We are very aware that the recent news concerning CAFAC’s operations has been upsetting for you. It has been very upsetting for the CAFAC staff and board as well. We would like to reiterate, CAFAC’s primary concern remains centered on the children in our care and bringing them home to their parents as soon as possible, and to our clients that eagerly await a child to make their family whole. And we continue to work very hard towards that end.

We want to assure you that our operations in Ethiopia are continuing, the children are being cared for, the files continue to proceed, your funds remain in trust accounts.

We believe that you deserve a voice in this matter. Thank you for your overwhelming show of support this week. We are very grateful and appreciative of it.

Sincerely,

CAFAC Board of Directors

Heartbreak

2012-02-01T16:42:00.000-07:00

While in Ethiopia, I had to assist in dealing with some issues that arose. Although it was important at the time, I still had some "awww nuts" selfish attitude because it happened when I was scheduled to go tour the world famous fistula hospital. It was issues that didn't directly affect me, but affected people working in Ethiopia, and families I was living with at the time. However, I was asked to be the mediator and it was an important role.

In doing so, part of the task was helping explain the things to the Canadian families staying with us while attending court and still in the adoption process. They would be returning to Canada to wait out the paperwork until they could bring their children home. What happened resulted in watching heart ache, worry and stress overwhelm families I had come to know. My heart broke for each of them. I saw tears, loss and pain.

Within two days, the HUGE and IMPORTANT miscommunication was over. Thankfully, most people will actually never know what was going on. Relief and joy was had by all. But I knew there was more yet to come.

With it came, though, true realization that Lyle and I needed to let go. That our family expansion through the amazing country of Ethiopia was ending. [Part of the reason is it now takes 7 to 10 years for an Ethiopian adoption in Canada.] I went through some grief. Even still, I don't know where we are going next or if our family is to be complete just as we are.

And now, today, completely separate from what happened and what the miscommunication was about while I was in Ethiopia, an email of disheartening news arrived. Our agency will be shutting down in two days due to financial loss. The process has become so long that the money for the agency to continue is very slow coming in. This news definitely closes the door to us returning to where our hearts are for the purpose of bringing more children to our home here in Canada.

So I can sit here and be so thankful thy we made it home. That we have our daughter sleeping in her bed, in her room, in our house. That she tangibly gives us hugs and kisses every day. That we can tell her right to her ear, and not just to the air we breathe, that we love her.

But instead I'm sad. I'm feeling broken. Those same families that I shared time, hugs and emotional ups and downs with don't have their children in their arms yet. I saw them go through horrific moments once, and I keep seeing their faces and remembering their names, and watching them smile as they held their kids for the first time. I imagine them going through heartbreak and pain again. What about them? Will the province finish things for them properly? Will things speedily finish up?

And what about the families who have invested years and thousands of dollars but haven't received their referral yet? The money is in trust so that's fine. But they must be grieving at the loss of their adoption. Their miscarriage. I've miscarried before and I know their pain of a miscarried adoption will be very real and very difficult. And each miscarriage is remembered for life.

So if you know a family in this situation, please understand their loss. Please don't brush it off since they didn't "have a child". They did. They do. They always will have a heart filled with some loss. Hug them. Pray for them. And never let them feel that this is easy and should be forgotten.

January 8 Journal Email

2012-01-08T16:23:00.001-07:00

Not much in the way of news yet. Finally got Internet late into the evening, after three days without. I suggested they just restart it as it probably had gone haywire with a power outage. Sure enough, minutes after the next power outage (last night) it was back up and running.

Yesterday on one of our walks, I saw a woman I've thought about so many times over the years. When we were here in May 2007 to get Mikiyas, there was a woman with her three boys, the youngest being just a baby. She would sit at the end of our drive way and ask for money and food and clothes. Whenever we ate out, we gave her our left over meals. I took a picture of her family and have often thought of them. One of our last days she handed me a letter (I'm sure she's used with other families that stayed here) asking me to take her three boys with us to look after them. It was really heart breaking.

Yesterday on a walk I looked across the street and saw her face. I immediately made my way to her and she recognized me too. Her English is getting better and we hugged and received kisses galore. I saw her three boys, almost five years bigger now. Mikiyas bought gum from one of them. I got an updated photograph of her with the boys. I also gave her a little money, but not too much that she would get robbed. Her two oldest boys are in school now, paying by selling gum and tissue. It was nice to see that the boys were not working for some money hungry man. They were working for themselves. I hope to see her again while we are out an about. I'd like to give her a copy of her family picture, and I'm sure Lyle would like to say hi to her too.

Mihret is sure settling into routines here with me, and learning quickly as to what is acceptable. The screaming at me in anger is diminishing. She smiles more readily and even has giggled a few times. She doesn't fill her diaper as often, but when she does, it sure is a stench!

The neighbors had a huge Christmas party that started in the afternoon and went late into the night. Very loud. The food smelled amazing. Traditional clothing all so pretty, The singing voices to traditional music and drums was beautiful. I did get a little recorded but, of course, blogger won't let me load it. Here's a photo of them setting up during the day.

January 7 Journal Email

2012-01-07T17:21:00.000-07:00

Merry Christmas everyone! Again. Today is Christmas here in Ethiopia. A lot of places are closed. It was the perfect day for us to go for a couple of walks and take some pictures as people weren't working or out on the street to get mad at us, or ask us to pay them for the picture. We did see two goat (maybe small cows) heads. One on the side of the road. One next to a gate keepers little shack of a house. I took a picture of one of them (morbid, I know) but I won't post it. May disturb some of you greatly.

Our dining / reception area has long green grass spread all over the floor with the coffee ceremony stuff set out. It looks neat and smells very fresh. On our walks we saw the few stores and cafes that were open and they have grass on the floors as well.

For the first time today, Mihret sat down with other kids in the reception area and played after breakfast. She usually screams to be up and away from others. This was a nice break for me as I was able to visit with other families.

On our second walk, I bought the kids each an Ethiopian bracelet from a poor man that had really made Mikiyas feel sad a few days ago. Mikiyas had felt so bad for him the first time we saw him that he pleaded the next time we saw him, we buy something to help him. So we did just that on Christmas day. I also took lots of pictures during our walk.

Mihret has taken to climbing onto the suitcases today. I think she's ready to pack up and move to Canada!

I took some pictures of the view from our room today too. A nice way to remember Christmas in Ethiopia.

(Russell, that's the building where you saw a hole. And the crane is in our road so we can no longer go that way. I have better photos on my camera which I'll send you from home.)

Here is a picture of part of our building's roof. These are hot water tanks. They are solar powered in a sense that sun heats the water during the day. Each room section on each floor has a tank. Four years ago it was much different in that there were only a couple of larger tanks for the whole building. This is an upgrade!

We ended our Christmas day with our usual dinner in the dining room. I treated Mikiyas to a Sprice juice. Mihret ate like a starving horse again. She is also quickly learning that screaming at me between each bite because I can't get the spoon to her mouth fast enough isn't acceptable. I've come to not worry so much what others think if she is mad at me for a few minutes as I teach her something. It can be very hard to teach your new child what is acceptable or not here. In this culture, children are first. If they cry or whimper, you pick them up and coddle them. You give in to whatever they want. For instance, one family has an older child that isn't potty trained. When they asked why, it was because "he didn't like it". So some families need to continue with the "bad" habits (according to our Canadian standards) until they get home. I decided since I'd be here almost a month, I didn't want her to think the same things were acceptable with us, or it would be even worse to break the bad habits when we get home.

I had to squeeze the stuff out of two more bumps right below Mihret's eye today. She did very well. Cried a little, but not near as bad as she cries when she wants her food! The bumps were ready to pop on their own and I didn't want the stuff to get on her face or her hands if she rubbed them. They're looking good now. When you look at her eyes, you are no longer distracted by the bumps.

Mihret did go to bed amazingly again. She laid down and drifted to sleep as she watched us do our evening routines before bed. She is starting to smile more, be sneaky with her tricks, bug her older brother and wander from our room to the bathroom, to the kitchen and to grandma's room. She is becoming much more comfortable. Lyle will be here just in time to chase after her!

January 6 Journal Email

2012-01-06T15:26:00.000-07:00

Today is Christmas Eve. We had amazing hot water for showers!! Things around here closed early, just like home. But many places still have to work, including tomorrow, just like home. We need our staff at the guest house, but I'm not sure if it's a lighter staffing load tomorrow. We have a couple Christmas presents for a few of the ladies in the guest house that we've come to know and love. It will be nice to see them smile with something extra special.

We skyped for a bit with Lyle again this morning. Since then, the Internet has been down in the building. If it's not one thing, it seems like another. Not sure when I will be able to send this.

Mihret's days are getting better. She's more willing to play around other people now. Not with, but near them. Today was the first day she actually wanted me to put her down! It's a miracle. Of course, that was only in the safety of our room. Outside in the court yard I can put her down too, but she whines for a bit before settling to play with something. I have now started to put her down in the hallway before we get to our room so she learns that she can walk and not be carried outside our room. She did good after the first five or six times. Mihret continues to eat a LOT but only filled two diapers today. Trying to get her under control before Lyle comes or I'll never get him participating. Haha. She didn't like going down for nap, but was absolutely amazing going to bed. Although we were still in the same room doing stuff with a light on, she laid down still and just watched us silently until she drifted to sleep. I've also been blessed in that she sleeps the full eleven-twelve hours through the night. One mom here is struggling. Her daughter only sleeps a couple hours at a time. When Mihret wakes, she doesn't cry, but runs her nails along the playpen to let you know she's awake.

Mikiyas is continuing to spend a lot of time playing outside, which is so nice. I need a court yard like this at home. He loves playing basketball, especially with a man named Evan. He and his wife leave tonight to go home with their newly adopted son. Evan is the brother to a lady that Lyle met here in the Summer and we got to know her and her family more when we visited with them in the fall in Calgary. Small world keeping us all together. Evan has been great in taking time to play basketball as sometimes Mikiyas is the only kid wanting to play outside, and Lyle's not here and I'm watching Mihret as she naps. Mikiyas is totally safe, and has done it many times, to play in the courtyard without others there. But it's always funner to play basketball with someone. Mikiyas told Evan today that it's too bad he won't meet Lyle and that he'd like him. Good thing Evan and his family only live 20 minutes away. They've also invited us to the church he pastors.

My mom and I continue to enjoy our walks with the kids. Today we hit up a bakery with delicious fresh buns. The security man there had fun chatting about the kids, thanking me for adopting the kids. He commented that the kids look alike, which they do. Then we joked about them looking just like me.

We also went to the grocery store where a man asked me "How does this work? They're black, you are white.". I just looked at him and said "It's a miracle!". He and his friend chuckled and walked away. At least they weren't insulted.

During our afternoon walk we went to a new Art Gallery in the area. Beautiful paintings done by a very talented man. Many of the people staying at the guest house have bought paintings from him. One family even bought five of the them. They really are beautiful. Mikiyas picked one out that he really liked but at this time we won't be getting one. I wouldn't make a decision like that without Lyle's input. By Ethiopian standards, they're very expensive. By North American standards, they are not.

We saw some wild life (aside from the usual livestock). We saw some odd looking lizards n our walk. They sure moved fast as they scaled a cement wall.

As I head to bed I hear the Christmas celebrations begin. A lot of music. A lot of people chattering. Oh - a live goat or sheep being slaughtered. Sweet dreams now!

January 5 Journal Email

2012-01-05T15:13:00.001-07:00

We woke this morning again to no hot water. Another power outage through the night occurred. However, they've also mentioned that the maintenance man has yet to come so I'm not sure if the lack of warm water is due to power or not.

Thank goodness for my kettle as I boiled water for washing again.

As I was sitting on my deck this morning I saw and heard an ambulance go by. I realized we've heard them a few times this trip. I don't recall hearing any sirens last time I was here. Just another change that has taken place. A good change.

Speaking of changes, here's a few off the top of my head:
Less horn honking. It still happens but it's not a constant this time around. People have learned what signals are for and occasionally use them.
I hear chanting in the morning again, but this time no church bells.
I don't fall asleep to the sound of the blaring pop music as it seems the dance club is no longer running next door.
Sending our laundry out sucks!

Laundry service sucks now. Last trip I'd send it out and the next day it'd come back white as white and pressed perfectly. Always smelled clean. Now the laundry service is with a new place and the laundry comes back smelling of petroleum and the clothes all shrink. So this trip, I've succumbed to washing laundry by hand. We're not supposed but a lot of people do anyway. Because it hangs in our rooms and bathrooms, and it's colder inside than normal, it takes about two days to dry.

I seem to be getting a good routine down here with washing dishes and clothes and general tidying. Fantanish is my cleaning lady and every day she makes the beds, gives me fresh towels, takes out the garbage, sweeps etc. She's a sweet lady with very little English. I managed to get from her that she has one child, a daughter, who is maybe a little older than Mikiyas.

After breakfast today we went outside with lots of other families. There seems to be a lot of older kids being adopted this time around. All the older girls try to take the babies from us. They don't understand much English and can get quite aggressive when they're determined to hold a baby. Again, part of the culture. Mihret surprised everyone today as she all of a sudden walked, almost ran, to get a Frisbee on the ground. She kept wandering around for a while, and I was not about to stop her. I kept having to get people to not pick her up. She doesn't walk around much or stray from me so it was nice to have her finally doing something that didn't involve crying or clinging, so I didn't want her picked up right away. After some jaunts around the court yard she took to leaning on Ketema's (one of our drivers) legs. She stayed planted there for some time.

I'm feeling much better today as the amoxicillin is loosening things up. Mihret is too, which means she's also becoming more comfortable in our room, grabbing things everywhere, shoving our things under the bed, getting mad at nap time instead of being too scared to make a peep.... Oh Lyle - your daughter will be the one to sneak out the window when she's a teen. Better beware! She watches everything, makes a plan, and sneaks a move.

Mom is doing good. Today she ventured out with another lady and her baby. They got a taxi and went to the grocery store (Bambi's). This means Mikiyas and I got some yummy chocolate cookies after!

Thank you so much for all the emails that have come in. I have loved reading them and being updated on all the things happening back home. Some I've emailed back individually, and some questions that have been asked, I'll answer here in case you wonder the same thing:

Is it hard to live here? Absolutely not. The weather is hot and gorgeous during the day. The flowers are in bloom, especially where we are staying. We have people cook us delicious breakfasts every day. Someone always cleans our room and makes our bed and gives us fresh towels every day. Power outages happen everywhere, and ours have been a little more frequents but nothing we cannot bear. So far they've only been while we sleep. Hot water has been a little short, but that's not the norm and apparently has been fixed. The cold at night was out of the norm and unexpected too. But so was a green / brown Christmas in Calgary this year!

Are we broke yet? No. Think of the exchange rate. For every USD we get 17.2 birr. Inflation has happened since we were here for Mikiyas, but things are definitely affordable. Each night we eat out and for $12.00 we order two HUGE meals of delicious food, a bowl of chunky vegetable soup, plus a basket of bread and a medium pizza.

Do we have to worry about Mihret's contagious bumps? No, we don't. There are a few near her eyes and two on her forehead. They are contagious if cut open and the stuff oozes out, you get it all on you and don't wash it off. They are completely treatable and good hygiene will prevent me from getting any should one break open. However, after squeezing one, I do know it is difficult to have them open up. I've been giving Mihret lots of snuggles and kisses and there is no worry for us.

Just how sick was Mihret and I? We both had colds with congestion, sore throats and a tight cough. Some amoxicillin is doing the trick for both of us. Mihret is doing great and her eczema is healing too. She is far healthier than Mikiyas was when we got him. She did fill four diapers today though so her body must be getting a good cleaning!

Are we bored here and how do I find time to email these? Due to jet lag, a lot were written in the middle of the night while the kids slept. Now I tend to write just before bed, and I often start them during Mihret's nap time. We aren't bored. We are enjoying the down time to relax and get Mihret into a settled routine before Lyle and Leona come to do all the tourist fun.

January 4 Journal Email

2012-01-04T14:59:00.000-07:00

Another simple day around the guest house. We were blessed to be able to Skype with Lyle first in the morning. Mikiyas was so excited to see Papa, the cat and the dog. He also asked Lyle to show him his room and the basement. Seeing all this made him a little homesick. Pugsly (dog) didn't understand hearing us and sort of seeing a face on the screen, that she cocked her head and it sure made us smile. I was also thrilled to see my old cat Sandi. Mihret saw Papa on the screen, could hear him and see him move. So she kept looking behind the iPad screen to see where he was, but he wasn't there. I think she eventually gave up.

Mihret is continuing to grace us with stench in her diapers. At least she is not constipated. And I can say that they are not as bad as Mikiyas' were when we got him. I think Lyle should be able to learn some diaper changing this time around. She can sure eat. She is enjoying rice, beef, chicken, cooked veggies, fruit and soup so far. She won't touch anything with a rough texture. So no bread, crackers, cookies or toddler type snacks. Mihret is also finally gracing us with smiles and a couple almost laughs. Sometimes she will catch her self and turn it into an almost cry.

Mikiyas is doing lots of reading, playing his DSi, basketball and Frisbee. He likes not having school, but is homesick and looking forward to when papa comes. He wants to go see things and even used the word "learn" things.

We had no hot water this morning in the building. Possibly due to the power outage during the night. If we keep getting power outages while we sleep at night, we will be lucky. A lot of times they happen in the evening when you need to see to eat etc. I'm lucky I bought a kettle a few days ago for sterilizing water so we are good to wash with hot water. Just no shower.

We went to the pharmacy across the road. What happens when a white woman walks in and prescribes herself medication? She gets it! I didn't go see a doctor. I just asked the pharmacist for amoxicillin and lo and behold, I got it. Twenty pills for 180 birr, so about 7-8.00. A couple hours after my first one I noticed a difference in my chest loosening up.

Mihret still won't go to other people too often, which is good. What we want right now as we are following our attachment plan. She's attaching to me well. It's hard here though as grandma can't hold her but watches as the locals grab her out of my arms and walk away with her. Mihret cries so I often can get her back quick enough. After the pharmacy we stopped in a women's fashion store next door. I tried on a dress just for fun and when I put Mihret down in the change room she whimpered a little. So the lady opened my curtain while I'm changing, grabbed Mihret and walked away leaving the curtain open. Yes, two men work there too but thankfully they had their backs turned. Mikiyas was quite annoyed with this happening. So was I!

When in the safety of our room, she's getting better at only crying for a minute or two when I put her down. So my arms are starting to get a break. Early to bed as usual. I am getting used to going to bed at the same time as Mikiyas.

January 3 "Life in Ethiopia"

2012-01-03T16:45:00.000-07:00

Since I'm wide awake at 2:00 am again, I might as well email a little about how things have changed since we were last here, and a little about the life here.

Water: Bottled water is incredibly cheap to buy. We use it for drinking and brushing our teeth. If you drink the tap water unboiled, you will end up sick. We also don't eat raw fruits or vegetables that don't have a thick peel as they are washed in their water. However, a mom (who is a nurse) from Manitoba is here and she eats salads every day and has had no problem yet. I'm not so sure I want to take the risk. Oddly, when mixing formula for the kids, you have to use boiled water, not bottled, or it will give them worse diarrhea than they already have. Their stomachs are not ready for the drastic change.

Climate: We are very close to the equator. It doesn't change in weather too much here, except for rainy season or dry season. We are in the dry season, but not dealing with a drought. This city doesn't usually deal with drought ever anyway. It has been colder than usual at night, getting down to about eight degrees. The day time is in the twenties and we have felt the dry heat. It is harder on us for sure. Not like 21 degrees back home. But the nights feel much colder than 8 degrees too. Our bodies fluctuate in what feels like 30/35 to 1/2 degrees. No wonder I got sick! There are no heaters, as they are not normally needed. A lot of the locals have colds as they are not used to it being this cold. They refer to colds as flu, although its just a cold.

Elevation: I don't recall our elevation here, but it's much higher and you do run out of breath easily. Two flights of stairs is enough to do you in sometimes. A slight incline as you walk down the road can put you out of breath. Of course, the pollution doesn't help. Sunday pollution isn't too bad because, unlike North America, most places, at least 95%, are closed for religious reasons. So the roads aren't busy with cars.

Driving: In a city of millions (at least 6 million) with huge roads and cars everywhere, they have finally gotten a couple of street lights. However, they often aren't obeyed or working. People still just beep if someone is changing lanes. No shoulder checks. You just start moving into the lane you want and if you are cutting someone off, they'll beep to let you know, or let you in. If you want to cross traffic, either with a car or as a pedestrian, you just start nosing your way through until you make it. No speed limits. Drive how you want, where you want, when you want. There are now lanes painted on more than just the one main road (Bole Road), but often a two lane road is used as three or one. They are using a lot of traffic circles in the newer areas now. No stop signs either. I have seen some people starting to use signals.

Animals: As part of your daily foot traffic among the streets and sidewalks, you will see herds of goats, sheep and donkeys. Imagine Robson Street in Vancouver or 16th street in Calgary with no lights, stop signs, double the traffic, pedestrians crawling everywhere, and then your herds of animals. Dogs everywhere too. Mikiyas has come to assume that every dog is a wild dog because there's no one walking their dog, and no dogs have collars. You never know if they are or aren't.

People: If you can afford it, you always dress your best and your hair is always done. Not us, of course, but the locals. We would look weird dressing up and it's not expected. We do have to make sure our hair is done though. If you can't afford it, you wear your best and cleanest (and probably your only) set of clothes/rags. Everyone is generally nice and has a "halo" (hello) for you.

Begging: I have seen a handful of it in comparison to what we saw last trip. Last time, every time your vehicle was stopped, the windows were swarmed with people asking for food or money. If you walked, you were often followed by children or a woman begging. You often saw people crawling along the sidewalks with deformities. And people sleeping on the sides of roads everywhere. This has changed. You still see it, but not as much. Begging along the roads to go up to vehicles has become illegal as there were many accidents and deaths caused. Drivers will be fined if we give anything out. We have been approached at the vehicle twice now, but we don't do anything except ignore them, which is hard. A lot of people still sleep along the roads. When we walk, we have children who follow for a little ways then they stop. We don't give to them either as they are working. Their money goes to men who watch not too far away. Same with women. Often a man is watching from not too far away. Kids come up with tissue or gum trays hanging around their necks to sell you things. But they will come close enough to put the tray against you while they pick pocket you. You have to push them away. So who can we give to? A woman alone with a child or children. Sick men or women alone. Alone is key or you will be swarmed and that gets unsafe. So far we've not been in a position to give to anyone.

Mihret to the same clinic as we took Mikiyas, but had to go a different way as so many new things around. Scaffolding is the same as before, but scary to look at. Seriously looks unsafe but somehow it works.

Money: When we came for Mikiyas, the exchange was about 8 birr or 1 USD. This time it is 17.2 birr for 1 USD. Wages have not really increased at all, with the average monthly wage of 10 birr. Doctors make about 2500 birr a year. But inflation has definitely increased. I paid 35 birr for Mikiyas to see the doctor at the clinic four years ago. It cost 80 for Mihret. We used to eat dinner for about 50 birr for three of us, now I'm usually paying 200 birr. When we here for Mikiyas, I remember learning about apples. It was 27 birr for a pound of apples (3 USD). It would take 3 months to afford apples! Rich man's food. I wonder how much they cost now. Our drivers and our agency representative are paid in USD so it appears they make decent wages.

January 3 Journal Email

2012-01-03T12:30:00.036-07:00

*Just a note: adding in random photos so you can see where we live and our view.

We had just another simple day around the guest house. We were invited out to do the museum tours, but didn't go as we know Lyle and Leona will want to join us. It wouldn't be something we would want to do twice in about a weeks time, nor pay for. Paying for the museums isn't expensive, but paying our drivers is, so why pay twice for the same outing.

We are all enjoying the heat during the day. It is very odd coming inside where it is freezing. When Mikiyas hears someone is going out to play basketball, he's racing out the door faster than you can blink. Inside, we are playing lots of UNO and Skipbo.

Mihret made some big changes today. The first time I caught her with a little smile, she quickly turned it into a forced cry. Later in the day we heard a couple laughs, and saw more smiles. She actually played with toys twice during the day without fussing. But when she's done, she lets you know it.

During one visit outside and her clinging to me, she surprised everyone around by walking a short distance away to a boy and trading her little plastic cup for his cookie. You must understand, she never leaves me. I was thrilled to say the least. She brought the cookie back and stuck it in the dirt. No intention of eating it. When she plays, she is so unlike Mikiyas was when we got him. He never made a mess and hated playing with toys. She makes a huge mess and plays with everything. She's also taken up slapping and throwing when she's mad. Mihret did kiss her dolly today so at least there's one thing she likes.

Mihret also finally went to the bathroom. Twice. Just about rose the roof. Mom had to leave the room. I was gagging. Doors had to be opened to the outside to air the place out. Nasty. Man, does that girl stink! And she definitely is eating now. The whole "bottle of formula every four hours" is a joke. She hasn't taken one, and I suppose won't be. She eats pasta, rice, cooked carrots, chicken.... But she won't eat crunchy stuff yet. So no toddler treats. Hopefully she will be on to textured foods before the airplane home. Less options when on board!

Mom has been really enjoying the time with Mikiyas. She's been able to play a little basketball with him and card games. She's been helpful to me with washing dishes and helping wash some of our clothes, Running errands down to the front desk etc. She's also been able to relax with a book and enjoy the down time.

We are itching to be tourists though.

As Mihret is getting better, I'm getting worse I think. Still congested and in the morning it hurts behind my ears so bad. The cough now is dry in my chest and makes it hard to breathe. With the elevation change, walking up the two flights of stairs that was once easy, is now now like an old Volkswagen beetle sputtering its last mile.

We enjoy receiving emails from you guys. Actually, it makes us happy so feel free to write us. But please try to email and not send messages through the Facebook messaging as it uses too much internet time to load through there, and we have to pay for it. Loading through my email is faster and I can read and write replies to everyone when I'm offline then just log in to send them. Thanks!

January 2 Journal Email

2012-01-02T17:43:00.000-07:00

So I'm just finishing up my day of Jan 2 while you guys are starting it.

Mihret slept through the night. I did too, with a little help from night time Advil. Mikiyas did some sleep talking that concerned me, but he couldn't remember come morning what it was about.

Mihret ate breakfast. Yay! She and I then headed to the doctors office. Lil' Mesfin took us and we enjoyed chatting. He can't wait for Lyle to arrive. Apparently Lyle is one of his best friends. I was showing him photos of home when we got back from the clinic and he just walked around looking at the one picture of Lyle, excited to know he's returning soon. Mesfin and I enjoyed some deep conversations. Christmas is coming (Jan 7) so instead of his original request for Lyle to bring him a new pair of shoes, he asked me to purchase he and his mother a sheep so they could eat it for their Christmas meal. How can I say no, especially once the exchange rate meant I only spent 60.00 for an entire sheep! For him, that cost 1,200.00 birr, which can be a years salary, or more, for most people here. He can now feed his family a terrific Christmas meal.

Speaking of exchange rates, in case people would like to do the math, it is 17 something birr for each US dollar.

Back to the doctor ... Mihret has eczema, as I suspected, on her neck. Her bumps on her face are from uncleanliness and will go away with good hygiene. I squished one tonight and it was rather gross. She is quite constipated. She is now on amoxicillin for the chest/sinus cold. We saw a pediatrician so unfortunately I couldn't get a prescription for myself. I am very run down but am managing. I paid 80 birr for the doctor and 182 birr for amoxicillin and cream for the eczema. She is on the mend!

Mihret cries every time she is put down or moved the slightest in my arms. She is definitely power struggling and now is comfortable enough to slap me. I've been doing some ignoring of her forced cries where she looks to see if I'm watching, and if I am she'll push one out. Then get louder. But now I'm making her work for her up time. She either stops the forced cry or she has to walk to where I am. In this culture, if a child cries, they are held. Always. Every time. So she has become quite lazy and waits for someone to pick her up. She caught on by the second time I said come in Amharic and it has gotten better.

Mikiyas finished his first Archie comic cover to cover today. It is nice to see him enjoy things not related to a screen. He did watch Kung Fu Panda 2 on the iPad, but it's nice to see other things being done. Hopefully his enjoyment of reading can turn more into an addiction. Tonight he started on a Geronimo Stilton book.

We didn't really go out today, but did walk up to the shopping complex. Four floors and each floor is exactly the same. Each store is basically dollar store quality or a men's suit shop. What caught me off guard was seeing a mall security guard at the entrance doing a pat down to every single person who walked through the door, except us. Safety first I suppose. But when a Caucasian person carries a baby, you get to skip pat downs.

Mihret refused lunch, but did enjoy my pasta at dinner. Everything comes spicy here, even when mild is requested. Mom is getting used to that.

Speaking of my mom ... Her new room is great and her shower is absolutely wonderful. I will be enjoying my showers in her room from now on. Just like being at home.

Again, looking forward to starting the touristy things later next week. Then these emails will get more interesting. We will see sponsor kids, the landscape, touristy sites, Portuguese bridge, among other things.

Anyhow. Off for now. Going to enjoy some reading with Mikiyas and fall fast asleep. Hopefully tomorrow some of this congestion and feeling run down will go away.

January 1 Journal Email

2012-01-01T10:17:00.002-07:00

Happy New Year!

Yesterday was a bit rougher day, simply because I've caught Mihret's cold. It's a doozy but is at least letting me know how she's been feeling since she can't really communicate with me. Her congestion seems to be getting a bit better, as mine gets worse.

We went to bed about 9:00 on New Years Eve. It was Mihret's first night with us so I wasn't sure how she would sleep through the night. I felt we shouldn't stay up late and ring in the new year in case she decided she didn't want to sleep through. But, alas, she slept through and I was awake at 1:00 and I never fell back to sleep. Out of the first 24 hours I had her, she slept at least 18 of them.

Mihret still hadn't eaten or drank a thing with me so I was hoping her hunger was going to over rule her stubbornness. We feel that her refusing to eat is not related so much to her cold, but to her needing seem level of power in a new world of confusion. When she woke, she drank 7 ounces of water!! I was super happy as I worried about dehydration.

I surprised myself, and was quite proud too, that I was alert and ready to hit the day when both kids were up. I even had them both showered and getting dressed when Grandma came in. When it was my turn to shower, there was just enough hot water for me. I can't bathe/shower the kids at night as it is way too cold here at night with no heat inside and they'll end up sick. When Lyle arrives, we'll see how we do in all of us using the hot water.

We went down for breakfast and Mihret ate her bowl of porridge, some mashed banana and another bottle, this time of mango juice. She didn't eat or drink again until dinner time. She refused the food I had for her, but really enjoyed my spaghetti. So far, she won't eat or drink the things she apparently ate at the foster home. I was told she has a bottle of formula every four hours .... She hasn't had one with me!

Mihret likes me to hold her. And that gets to be a challenge sometimes as I do have Mikiyas and myself to tend to. She is also okay with Mikiyas holding her, and thankfully he likes too. However, she's heavy and he can't hold her for too long. She does know how to walk but doesn't like to. Mommy has to hold and carry her everywhere. She gets really upset when the Ethiopian ladies try to pry her from me for cuddles. Remember, it's a different culture here and children are to go to everyone, stranger or not.

Grandma has been helpful with spending time with Mikiyas when I've been tending to Mihret or too sick too function. Grandma has also been good at running little errands around the guest house for me. She has enjoyed the little walks we take outside to corner stores, the bakery or coffee shop. Her heart is bleeding for the people begging and pleading for help. But she has been learning how to deal with that. She is looking forward to Leona and Lyle joining us too so who can do some touristy things, and she can have another grandma to visit. Grandma has been able to move to the room next to us now so we are able to share the outside patio and have the kitchen to ourselves. She likes this room far better - she has water in it and apparently a really good shower. I'm going to try hers next. She says she is really enjoying the people and the Weygoss House. She's had a couple of nosebleeds, but getting through them.

Mikiyas has been an amazing big brother, as expected. He doesn't like it when Mihret cries when I can't hold her constantly. He is really enjoying basketball outside, but the kids that were here to play with yesterday have now left for Canada so it'll decrease his playing time I'm sure. Grandma has scored a few baskets with him, and our drivers / liaisons love playing with him when they are here too. People who knew Mikiyas 4 1/2 years ago are just loving being able to see him again and how much he's changed. Mikiyas too is struggling with the beggars. He's understanding the danger with them coming to vehicle windows and how we can't give to them as they could get run over. It's also illegal now because it has become so unsafe so our driver would get ticketed if we did give money. He wants to buy from every street person trying to sell something. He hasn't yet, but wants to. The poverty and begging is really pulling at him.

We haven't eaten any traditional food yet. Pizza, pasta and fries seem to be the thing for us right now. We did order hamburgers, but couldn't eat them. They took the word "hamburger" literally and brought us a burger with a slice of ham, which looked more like bologna, on it. However, the burger wasn't cooked so we passed on that. Our complimentary breakfasts have been good. We bought some mayo and bread yesterday so with our breakfast we ordered hard boiled eggs so we could make egg sandwiches for lunch. Saves eating out constantly. I bought a kettle to boil water for washing bottles and mixing formula and Mihret's powdered cereal.

We went to a coffee shop and enjoyed some layered juice drink. It's all concentrated juices, so like what you'd see from a frozen juice can. It's more warm than cold. A layer of pineapple, then avocado, then guava (I think) and topped with papaya. The colors and look are beautiful. Little strong when you have a sore throat. I didn't finish mine though because Mihret decided she would cry and not stop because I shifted her in my arms.

I have taken more pictures than I've sent along but they're on my camera and I use the Internet through my iPad so I'm sorry there hasn't been much to show you. I'm also finding my camera comes out a lot less because I've been here before and already have pictures of goats and donkeys walking down our roads, people sleeping in the middle of the streets, buildings being built with wooden scaffolding WCB would freak about....

Mikiyas made a new years resolution - to run faster and more. Mine is to eat less chocolate. So far, so good.

That about sums up our first day of the new year. Tomorrow Mihret will go to the doctor. I'm sure that will be an adventure. Mikiyas doesn't want to come with as he doesn't want to hear her cry there.

December 31 Journal Email

2011-12-31T09:43:00.002-07:00

Obviously a lot has changed and happened in the last three days. I'll try to share some of the interesting points in the adventure. If you don't care to know just delete and / tell me to stop sending you the emails. I haven't been able to get on the blog at all so no updates there yet. Maybe not any ever....

Flying from Calgary to Frankfurt was easy. We did have a shaky landing, which made the meal that Mikiyas and I ate not sit joyously in our stomachs. We had eaten a lot given that in nine hours we had snack, supper, bedtime, breakfast and lots of opportunities to drink. Mikiyas felt very close to throwing up but didn't. Another thing he didn't do was sleep at all.

We arrived in Frankfurt early and thus had to disembark on the tarmac and be bussed to the terminal. We were taken to an area that had three possible options: 1) you leave the airport via passport check and enter Germany 2) you go through security check WITH your boarding pass to catch your next flight 3) you go to the Lufthansa counter to get your boarding pass for your next Lufthansa flight. We, unfortunately, didn't want to do any of those things. We needing to get boarding passes for Ethiopian Air. They don't have their own booth in the airport, especially this location of the airport, and because it was a thirteen hour lay over, Lufthansa couldn't access Ethiopian Air's system to give us boarding passes. So we went through passport check and left.

We caught the train to Mainze. It was very neat to see how different it was. Housing was pretty much all apartment / townhouse style. Cars are all very small. I did eventually see a van. It wasn't called a van, but a space wagon. We didn't see a single truck. Everything was plain and reminded me a lot of movies based on the war. Just as we were approaching our stop, Mikiyas hurled. I made the mom mistake of thinking I could save the floor and catch the puke.

Mainze itself was quaint. We saw a beautiful church with a fascinating and enormous nativity scene. The streets were cobblestone. Many buildings were beautiful, yet simple, with dates from the very early 1900's. It was like a cool brisk spring morning for us, but they were dressed like it was our -30 weather. And, no offense to anyone, but no one smiles or shows any sign of happiness or desire to be friendly. We didn't stay too long. We were all tired and hoping we could get into some part of the airport for some rest.

We returned to find out that we couldn't get boarding passes until 195 minutes before the flight. So here we are in one of the ten biggest airports in the world and we couldn't access it. We were stuck in the front area of the airport. Very minimal to do or see. There was one place to eat and it had a bar so Mikiyas couldn't go. After 21 hours of not sleeping, he finally settled onto my lap where he slept for five hours.

We eventually caught our flight and were the very first people to board, aside from a lady in a wheel chair. Mikiyas and I both took gravol given our stomachs hadn't eaten and we both still had a little nausea from the last landing. We were out for the entire flight pretty much. We woke long enough to eat some excellent chicken at dinner and some juice (slept through the food part) at breakfast. I also woke to assist my mom as she had quite a nosebleed, caused by a hot plane. I had never been on a plane that was so warm.

We were early landing in Addis so line ups were small. We were very quick getting visas and luggage. I had the wonderful joy of heaving six 50 pound bags onto carts, then off the carts through x-ray machines, and back on in less than five minutes. The security guard said I was stronger than most men and suggested I work there. Funny enough, when our driver arrived, he couldn't pick up even one bag without needing help or almost falling over.

Exhausted, we arrived at the guest house and were very warmly greeted. As luck would have it, without any planning on anyone's part, I ended up in the exact same room we had when we got Mikiyas four and a half years ago. Very cool and Mikiyas really liked it. We ate breakfast (again) and headed to bed. Mikiyas, however, was too excited to sleep so he played his DS.

After a few hours nap and a shower, we headed over to the foster home to meet Mihret. She was dressed in an outfit I sent over and had her hair all done cute. She cried a little but not too much. She settled in my arms and didn't like being moved at all once she got comfortable. We took a couple pictures and I also showed her some on the iPad. She didn't touch the iPad at all until I got to the picture of her and Lyle from summer. Out came her hand and she put it on the middle of the picture and just held it there. It was a wonderful moment. She remembered her Papa! Once she fell asleep I handed her over so she could sleep in her bed.

I woke to a very cold shower, having zero hot water. They came to show me how to turn on the tap and that turning it towards red means hot and blue means cold. Haha. But when she realized I really didn't have hot water she called the manager. It was fixed but I didn't have time to shower as it was time to pick up Mihret. I'm hoping the hot water doesn't disappear again.

I received Mihret and again received only a few tears from her. Haregewain came to see us and was over the moon excited to see Mikiyas as she last saw him when we picked him up in May of 2007. Mikiyas enjoyed her excitement and didn't mind all the squishy hugs. I think he also enjoyed the wonderful attention he got.

Mihret has done well in the few hours we have had her. She is napping now and went down fairly easy. Hopefully that doesn't change. Some parents here are really struggling getting kids to sleep at all. She has bumps on her face which are quite contagious and a bit of a rash on her neck which may just be eczema, but we are unsure. She also has a cold and is refusing to eat or drink. Her way of having some control in a confusing situation for her. Ketema (our driver / liaison ) has suggested we see the dermatologist and is arranging an appointment for Monday to see about the rash and the yucky bumps. She is quick to cry if you move her once she's content in a position you place her in.

Mikiyas is an amazing brother, as we knew he would be. There is still novelty there, but he really dotes on her and "likes" her so much. He is very proud of her. It's nice to we him dedicated to something more than technology! He's enjoyed playing basketball outside with the men, but always has to have Mihret and I close by.

My mom is adjusting to the time change, and has realized how much we take water and food for granted. She also learned just how atrociously expensive it is in European countries.

Things around here have changed a lot since 2007. I feel a bit lost in a world I once felt comfortable to say I knew well. But I will save that for another email as this one is getting lengthy for some of you busy readers. I do wish Lyle were here with us. I am also looking forward to some touristy things once he and his mom join us.

So meeting day was December 30 (Happy Birthday to my dear friend Miss T.) and Gotchya day is December 31 (Happy New Years Eve to everyone).

December 30 Journal Email

2011-12-30T10:09:00.000-07:00

I'm exhausted and it's been a whirl wind so far so this is brief. We are here. We are safe. We are healthy. We are tired. Mihret is a sweetie. Mihret needs to get a little healthier. Mihret comes to live with us tomorrow. Mikiyas is exhausted. Mikiyas is finally asleep. Mikiyas is over the moon happy and said "I like Mihret." Here is the first photo I took of myself with my TWO kids. Enjoy!

All Set and Ready to Go!

2011-12-28T10:12:00.000-07:00

It's Booked!

2011-12-23T21:24:00.005-07:00

Things have been pretty quiet on the blog the past three weeks, but definitely not quiet in the house. Although the house was completely decorated for Christmas during the last weekend of November, one of our trees (the big fancy one with all the glass) was taken down two weeks later. Our kitten won the battle when it came to whether he should destroy it or we put it away. One afternoon, I came home to 7 smashed glass ornaments and the bottom three rows of 850 lights on the floor. I saw him stand on his back feet and use both front feet to reach as high as he could to pull down the 8th ornament. That night, the tree was taken down.

Since then, the mood changed around the house. Literally, the next day our minds and hands wanted to continue in the next step. You could say that the cat got the ball rolling around our house. Although the rest of the house remained beautifully decorated for Christmas, we are anxiously counting down to boxing day to put it all away. We finished our Christmas shopping early, as usual, so I began making freezer meals, got baking in the freezer and finally threw my hands in the air and said "I'm packing!".

Four hockey bags and two enormous Rubbermaid totes are stuffed full and weigh in at 48 lbs a piece. Donations for the CAFAC foster home and Compassion school are ready to go. We are not taking clothes this time so those are fully loaded with books, supplies, specifically requested purchases, medicinal items, toys, and even a playpen.

Suitcases are being packed. Mihret's stuff is ready to go. Odds and ends items needed are ready to go. Mikiyas' stuff is almost completely packed, minus the toothbrush! I'm not far behind. Lyle's following closely, itching to get ready too.

Immunizations, Dukoral, prescriptions are all done. Pet sitting arranged. Time off from work set up. Dayhome one-month shut down notice has been given. House care arranged too. Piano teacher and Tae Kwon Do Master notified.

All this done with no travel date. Just an idea of when we'd like to set off.

Finally with news from Nairobi to CAFAC of a "possible" date, with an apology [that never happens] for taking so long, we decided to check in to flights. We didn't plan on booking, but wanted to get a feel for how the flight budget was looking this time of year. Three travel agents later, we accepted the fact that there were literally a handful of flights available. And those were going fast ... and expensively. One agency even told me they couldn't find much of anything for return flights until February! Especially with all of us going. Eventually a flight was found, but not all of us could fit.

Well, welcome to one of the worst days I could have had. No visa. Travel agents with horrible news [limited flights and big money]. I fell flat on my back on the ice [didn't notice the pain until I calmed down a day later and realized how bad I hurt my leg in the fall]. Some cheques deposited to my account were bounced. Not my cheques, but someone else providing me with money. Two hockey bags filled with things to take no longer being usable. My cat managing to knock over gallons of water that soaked down to the basement and ruined papers. Oh how the list goes on .......

Forty-eight hours later [and about ten hours of that on the phone] we booked some flights. Ten minutes after I realized what I just did, I felt like throwing up. My head was pounding. I felt exhausted. But I felt relieved. It took a few hours to settle in that I was FINALLY going to meet my daughter.

So, although the visa has not been issued, Mikiyas, my mother and myself will be leaving soon for Ethiopia. A week and a half later, Lyle and his mother will join us. Two weeks after that, we will return to Calgary with our darling Mihret. We have been assured and supported by CAFAC that we did indeed need to book flights given the circumstances, and that the visa should be given to us with at least a few days to spare before returning home.

I can't believe we are finally this close. The other day I received the news that my cousin is pregnant. Her third pregnancy and fourth child [one set of twins]. She became pregnant the first time shortly after we started this adoption. Realizing that really made me realize how long this has taken! But a big congratulations to them too.

Nairobi

2011-12-01T21:14:00.000-07:00

The next few steps that were needing to be taken apparently happened / are happening. It appears a few things have stepped into high gear. It was only two weeks ago, which in adoption land was a short time ago, we found out MOWA did the letter to request to new birth certificate and passport. Since that time, those have both been issued, all documents have been translated and put together, the file was sent to Nairobi and Nairobi has advised that they are reviewing it.

So not so much is left now. Nairobi has already sent the medical form to Ethiopia for Mihret to be checked by the doctor. The doctor will then forward it to London for the Canadian immigration doctor to review and approve. The doctor will send it back to Nairobi and Nairobi will issue the visa. Nairobi usually advises CAFAC when they are sending the visas on to Ethiopia. When they advise this, we are then told to book our flights so we can arrive in Ethiopia about the same time.

We continue to hurry up and wait. Patiently.

Water Project

2011-11-30T16:27:00.005-07:00

After two years of fundraising [and a little stressing], our family completed the fundraising of $25,000.00 for the spring capping and water supply to a village in Southern Ethiopia. This morning a final donation was received bringing conclusion to an amazing adventure.

This project was an expensive project because it was not just a matter of digging a well and walking away. Although expertise to complete this was needed, the people of the village built it themselves, with proper training being provided, and they therefore own it. I mean this in the sense that there is the sense of ownership for them. This includes lying 3.12km of pipe down. They also received the training to build and repair so that this will last lifetimes over. Proper hygiene and nutrition training was also completed.

The village has increased in numbers since the building was completed. Families have been reunited as members who worked outside of the village have been able to return home to healthy growing crops, healthy clean water and several now-established village committees to look after water management, healthy and environment [including tree planting, protection and watershed management].

Here are some photos:

silt settling tank

spring cap #1

spring cap #2

spring cap #3

one of the water points

We will note that the building completed just prior to the drought so lives were saved from one little boy's dream. THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS. Together, we gave life! Thank you for being super heroes.

You should know ...

2011-11-15T13:28:00.000-07:00

We now await the new passport and new birth certificate to be issued. With those two things, a visa will be requested from Nairobi. Nairobi will send a medical form to Haregewain to have completed first. Once that is done and returned, Nairobi will issue a visa and we will be advised to be book flights.

Seems simple, but can still take months to happen. We'll keep praying for a speedy miracle.

The Friday Meeting

2011-11-09T14:34:00.000-07:00

So, what happened with the big important meeting on Friday? Did Haregewain have any headway with MOWA at the meeting that kept us on pins and needles? Are those of us with children from a certain area any further ahead?

No.

We were informed, without apology, that we were misinformed. That the all important meeting was not with MOWA. The pins and needles and hope we all held onto was for not needed.

The meeting was with other people that are involved in processing adoptions. They met to discuss if anyone with adoptions from the certain area were moving ahead. We have been informed that CAFAC "will not be meeting with MOWA, as she has been advised that this would not improve the situation. As an agency we need to proceed very carefully and respect the Ethiopian process. Haregewain continues to be hopeful that the letters will be issued, but has no timeline, we will need to continue to remain patient.".

An Update of Sorts

2011-11-02T15:42:00.000-06:00

It's been almost two months since the last update that wasn't really an update of progress. I figured it's about time I let you know what we've been hearing. First, here's a brief history:

Lyle attended court on July 25. At that time, he was told that they would expect us to go to Ethiopia to pick up Mihret and bring her home for ever at the end of October.

End of October has come and gone.

Delayed. Why?

We were first delayed for one month because our file was locked inside the courthouse and the courthouse was closed for the rainy season / new year. It would have been longer but the head lady from MOWA was able to get into the courthouse to retrieve our file, along with others.

The second delay has been ridiculous. This delay still stands. It has been two months since our file was retrieved, and the days will continue to move for who knows how long. We are waiting for MOWA to issue their form letter advising both Immigration and Vital Statistics that we are legally Mihret's parents. Immigration would then issue a passport and Vital Statistics would issue a birth certificate. Both are required before the Embassy in Nairobi can request / proceed with the medical check on Mihret and visa issuance.

Why is MOWA sitting on their letters?

The reason is pure speculation. Both speculative reasons have been voiced by more than one employee of our agency. Both speculated reasons are legitimate reasons from MOWAs viewpoint to hold up ours, and other people's files.

1. Contact by Canadian families, both waiting in Canada and waiting in Ethiopia, with MOWA is not allowed. Canadian families have made direct contact with MOWA asking them to move things along. MOWA is not impressed.

2. MOWA did not want the adoptions to become legal for those children that came through the orphanage that is now closed. This includes Mihret. The judge overruled MOWAs feelings. MOWA is not impressed.

MOWA can sit on our letters for as long as they want. However, the agency's representative in Ethiopia has met once, and will again this Friday, with the Ministry hoping to get our letters done ASAP.

Please join us, and other families, in prayer as we all want our miracle of having our children home for Christmas. Although Christmas is very soon and the timing is unlikely, we can still pray for the miracles.

Immigration

2011-09-16T10:23:00.000-06:00

We received an update from CAFAC that the approval letter to Vital Statistics and Immigration has not been issued from MOWA yet and delivered to the Embassy. This is needed before Immigration will issue a new birth certificate and passport. The reason is unknown, but a guess has been given that it may simply be because the courts are closed and therefore the head of MOWA has been away a lot during this time. We may or may not see the next step until after courts re-open on October 13.

Court Decree

2011-09-08T10:12:00.000-06:00

Just a quick note of good news. Although the court house has been closed and we have currently been delayed a month so far, we did receive the Adoption Decree today. We will not have to wait until October 13 to obtain it.

From reading the decree, we did see that MOWA objected to following through with the adoption as Mihret did come through an orphanage [name not necessary] that is no longer licensed. However, the Federal First Instance Court dismissed their opinion in this regard as the adoption contract between us and the orphanage was signed before the closing of the orphanage, and it is Mihret's best interest that she been adopted rather than remain an orphan in Ethiopia.

God is good.

Now we await the vital statistics and immigration letter to be issued by MOWA. Once that is completed, the new birth certificate and passport can be requested. Upon receipt of that, the visa can be requested from Nairobi!

Getting closure.

God is good.

Court Closure Has Caused Delay

2011-09-02T10:12:00.000-06:00

Although things were very optimistic for us, in that we would not be affected by court closures, that is not the case. We have been affected. Our file, as with many others, has been delayed.

We passed court. We received our MOWA approval. Both things were the BIG steps needing to be done in order for us to proceed without delays caused by the court date. So why are we delayed? Because MOWA did not physically release the documents before the court closure. Evidently, the next steps cannot be taken without the paperwork. A new birth certificate cannot be issued. A new passport cannot be obtained. Translating all the documents cannot be completed. Thereby, no application for the visa / immigration can be made.

The court is closed until October 13. There is hope that the amazing lady with our agency in Ethiopia will be able to have the head of MOWA get the documents before the court re-opens. The head of MOWA is away right now, but CAFAC is optimistic that she will be able to help upon her return. So there is hope. If not, rushing to have the big court date and MOWA approval before the court closed was not worth the panic.

We received word of our MOWA approval On August 10. It's been wasted time since then. We are not angry. We are not depressed. We are not discouraged. Just annoyed. We will continue to be patient. We will trust that this is still God's perfect timing ~ perhaps even if just to give more post-surgery recovery time to my mother so she can make the trip with us. That alone would make the delay worth it. But, as many steps are still needed to be completed before we can go get Mihret, please continue to pray and hope that the documents will be released soon.

Afrikadey

2011-08-18T08:32:00.001-06:00

Last weekend was the Afrikadey Symposium [Aug 12] and Festival [Aug 13]. Doing the Symposium with Mikiyas was quite the experience. It was held at Calgary's Main Branch Library down town. Over 100 people were there to ~~pass judgement~~ watch and learn.

We got there early for the reception and a chance to meet the other speakers. I was nervous at this part as I knew who some of the big named people were. It felt weird to know that I was meeting some truly professional and learned stars. But after the first introduction and five seconds of chatter, I felt totally at ease. Of course, it helped that she wouldn't look up from her solitaire game on her phone and was shocked to hear that this young boy would be speaking, having no faith in it all with her rude comment. I wanted to smack her. Instead, it made me feel that we could do this and she really was no better than us just because she was famous.

The rest of the night was fantastic. Mikiyas and I were first, which did make me a little nervous. It also made me think "Good, everyone will have gone home forgetting about the little people and our fumbled presentation.". The mediator was hilarious and it helped to make us comfortable on stage as well.

Mikiyas did a fantastic job. Absolutely fantastic, and he kept people laughing. And the woman with little faith, she laughed and thought he did terrific too. Before leaving she gave me a hug and was pleased to see what a difference we can make. [Showed her, didn't we!] I can't upload the video because it's too large.

At one point during my speaking, I wasn't sure if I came across as bragging about what we do. It bothered me for the next two hours of sitting onstage [of which Mikiyas did awesome at in just sitting and waiting for it to end!]. When one woman spoke about how many people she helps etc it made me think I'm not even close to bragging when you hear that! But I was really comforted that our message came across properly when the open question period ended up concluding with questions and very positive comments to Mikiyas and I. It didn't end with the stars. It ended with the little people. I think this is not because of what we do or who we are, but because the people can relate. They can help in smaller ways than building and starting schools. They can help without writing books, singing on stage and touring the world. They can teach their own children now so compassion becomes a part of them as a child, not something to learn as an adult. They can make a difference as a family, not a star. They can relate to doing something one small step at a time.

Don't get me wrong though. The other people on the panel taught amazing things. They gave great encouragement and voiced many very good points. It was quite a treat for everyone in there to be able learn from them. And they are incredibly talented.

After question period and dismissal, we answered many questions from people, giving them further information about specific projects and even advice on how to talk to their own kids. It really was quite the experience. To have the amazing opportunity to teach others and be on the same playing field as incredible stars was quite uplifting. We walked away feeling blessed in so many ways.

The next morning Mikiyas and I went for a walk. We talked a lot about the things we learned. He asked questions about some of the African traditions that were discussed by some of the panel. He asked about men versus women rights. He felt strongly that boys and men should never hurt a woman and that men are not better than women. He concluded our walk with a very insightful statement: "The good and beautiful traditions of Africa should stay and the bad traditions should be punished.".

We headed out to the Festival after our walk. We enjoyed the heat, some music and tried new foods. We were able to buy pure shea butter from Ghana. Mikiyas really had no interest in the music though - he preferred frisbee and spent a huge chunk of the day practicing. He's become quite good at it. He did sit and listen to one musician, and only one. Ara Queen of the Drum. She was on the panel with us the night before. We hit it off with her very well. Ara is from Nigeria and is a beautiful woman, both inside and out. Mikiyas asked if we could go say hi to her so we snuck back stage past security and he was embraced with the biggest hug. "Aunty" Ara is truly wonderful and we will miss her. However, we've already been emailing up a storm and I believe she will be a part of our lives forever.

Although you don't see Lyle's name mentioned above, he was there. He is very much a part of everything that happens [including holding our coats]. He may not be front and center, answering the questions or managing Mikiyas' interview time slots, but he is a crucial and important part of everything. But for him, none of this would have happened.

Happy Birthday Mihret!

2011-08-16T12:24:00.000-06:00

Today Mihret turns one. Well, she actually started her birthday late last night, given the time difference. As we did with Mikiyas, we had a little get together with friends on Sunday. We had an open house filled with food and drinks and lots of conversation. Mihret received some cards and even a few birthday presents.

Thank you to everyone for celebrating our passing of court, MOWA and Mihret's first birthday! Thank you to those who brought food, plates, cups, cards and presents. We appreciate every ounce of kindness from you all. To know that you all hold Mihret dear to you already means so much. One day she will know of your kindness too.

______________________________________________

Mihret, we love you so much. We are sorry that we are unable to spend this special day with you. You are growing up so quickly. We're getting your room ready for you, and it was filled with more treasures and girly clothes on your special day. It was only a few days ago that we learned we received our MOWA Approval. I know you don't know what that means, but it was the best birthday present ever!

Mikiyas can't wait to play with you, show you around your bedroom and teach you so many things. He's a wonderful teaching and you will learn so much from him. Mikiyas loves you incredibly. He is so proud that you are his sister. He spent your birthday wearing his favorite t-shirt "Mess with my sister, you mess with me." Each day he prays for you and asks God to bring you home soon. Mikiyas is learning and preparing himself to have you join our home forever. He asks lots of questions about what you will be able to do with him, and how the best way to help you and teach you is. You are loved by your very protective and caring big brother more than you could ever dream. You are so lucky to have him to watch over you. I think one day our whole town will know to never mess with you or they'll be chased down by Mikiyas.

Papa misses you a lot. He thinks of you everyday. He remembers your touch and how you felt lying in his arms. He remembers your alligator tears and wishes he could wipe away every one of them. Papa loves the big curls in your hair. When he talks about you, he lights up. He misses you and loves you so much that he hasn't once told me to stop buying things for you and your bedroom. He's even finding little pink shoes to be cute! Each day I know it breaks Papa's heart that he can't be with you still, and that it's taking as long as it is to have you home with us. You are forever special to him. You will always be his amazing, gorgeous daughter. He is doing everything he can to get you home. And I'm pretty sure he will do anything for you once you are home. I'm pretty sure you'll have him wrapped around your finger pretty quick.

I think of you every day too, Mihret. There's not a day that goes by where I'm not wondering what you are doing, how your health is and how you are growing. I've been planning your bedroom, but am leaving a lot of the finer details for you to plan out as you grow older and express to us the things you love most. I'm picking out lots of clothes to surprise you with in Ethiopia. I hope you like purple and pink! They are the colors of the little toy your darling big brother bought you so I'm sure you will like them. I love looking at your picture and imagine holding you, doing your hair and giving you lots of snuggles. I can't wait to kiss your cheeks and whisper I love you. God could not have made me happier when he blessed my life with you for a daughter.

One day soon we will be with you. It won't be too long now. Two of your Grandmas will come with us. They can't wait to meet you either. They're feeling pretty special that they get to travel half way around the world to meet you soon. So hold on tight ... we'll be there soon ... and we'll have an even bigger party when you get home. All our love to you!

MOWA Approval

2011-08-10T13:32:00.000-06:00

MOWA approval is a big step. Regardless of whether court has granted custody of the child to you, MOWA can deny it if they see a reason to do so. The court cannot overturn MOWA's decision.

Court closures do affect MOWA approvals as well. Approvals completed by MOWA cannot be processed during court closures. MOWA can give the approval, but the paper work and completion cannot happen if the court is not open. Court closed August 8.

We received news today that MOWA approved our file and it was finalized with the courts on the last day the courts were open.

We are incredibly blessed that we had our file finalized on August 8. We are truly blessed with God's timing.

So what's next?

A new birth certificate has to be issued naming us as parents, and a new passport is generated. Estimated time is 6-8 weeks, however it has been seen to happen quicker on occasion.

Documents are translated. This takes approximately 2 weeks.

Documents are put together and sent to Nairobi requesting a visa to be issued. Nairobi then sends a medical form back to Ethiopia requesting a medical be performed. The medical is done and the form is returned to Nairobi. Nairobi then issues the visa. CAFAC then informs us that the visa is on it's way to Ethiopia for Mihret and we can book our flights. This process takes anywhere from 2-10 weeks, sometimes even longer. [Those doing the citizenship route do not have to do the medical form. We chose the permanent residency route way back when we started because the citizenship route was too new and had glitches.]

In other words, we do not know when we can pick Mihret up. We will not know until it is time to do so. If, after a while, we get annoyed by the question "when", please forgive us. *smile*

Court Closure Part 2

2011-08-07T21:49:00.000-06:00

I was advised this morning that the court closure will not be August 8 to September 19 as I previously stated. That is true for the Ethiopian calendar.

How it affects us is August 8 to October 13. Sorry for the confusion [although some of you may be more confused now].

Airdrie City View

2011-08-05T11:55:00.002-06:00

Covy Moore

Six-year-old Mikiyas Hatton of Airdrie has raised about $21,000 to build a well in Toniya, which is located in southern Ethiopia. He is just shy of his goal of $25,000, the number that will trigger a $50,000 Canadian grant to help build a water system in the nation currently crippled by drought.

Local boy raises money for clean drinking water in Ethiopia

Aug 05, 2011 06:00 am | Trevor Bacque

Airdrie’s Mikiyas Hatton is compelled to aid his home country of Ethiopia to secure clean water for its people.

The six-year-old boy was adopted by Airdrie couple Sheri and Lyle Hatton in May of 2007.

Two years ago, Hatton was watching television with Lyle when he saw a program about the poor water conditions in the East African country.

“I was watching TV and I saw someone picking up dirty water with mud in it,” said Hatton. “I said ‘dad, we need to help those kids’ and that’s how it started. I was non-stop. I asked 100 times.”

A few months later in December, the family attended a dinner function for Hope International, a not-for-profit international development agency. Hatton heard a presenter tell the audience two out of five children in Ethiopia will die due to unsanitary drinking water.

“When you think about the drought (now), thousands of people are dying,” said Sheri.

Now, two years after beginning his journey, Hatton is nearing his goal of clean water for the village of Toniya in the Bonke district of southern Ethiopia.

As of July 2, he has raised about $21,000 towards his goal of $25,000 to build a well in Toniya. Once those funds are in place, the government of Canada will provide an additional $50,000 in grants for the project. The well will also employ and empower local villagers who will help with the installation of the new water system and learn new skills.

Funding has come from friends and family and the Hattons have also put aside funds each month for the project.

When Sheri discovered her adopted son was interested in giving back, she wasn’t surprised. “He has always been filled with compassion for children,” she said. “If there’s a child crying, he goes to them. He has the heart.” Hatton would even go so far as to give away Christmas toys away and had birthday parties where gifts would go directly to Ethiopian kids.

The family also supports international aid projects in Uganda and Zimbabwe.

The couple is currently in the process of adopting a daughter, also from Ethiopia.

Hatton and Lyle will be speaking about the project at the Afrikadey Celebration in Calgary, Aug. 12. The speaking engagement is at the Calgary Public Library, 606 MacLeod Trail S.E.

____________________________________________________________

Only a few mistakes, but a great article nonetheless. The water project is completed in Toniya, it isn't a well, which is why it costs so much and Lyle was shocked to hear that he will apparently be speaking at the Symposium. I told him I'd even let him prepare the presentation this weekend but he wasn't too impressed by my suggestion. I do have to say though, it really does look so much better in the paper than online. And the story is even listed on the front page! Out of the three interviews, this is the first one to make me cry. I'm such a proud mother! Thank you CityView for doing such an awesome job.

CBC - Radio Canada International

2011-08-02T22:11:00.000-06:00

Here is the interview with Frank Rackow, National Reporter for Radio Canada International. It aired this morning, but I didn't know until after. They were so kind to send me an mp3 file of it right away. Do hope you enjoy.

You can hear Mikiyas constantly clearing his throat. That's him dealing with his swollen tonsils. The pictures were added by myself on this clip because I couldn't load an audio file to blogger. It had to be video file so I put a few pictures on to give you something to stare at while listening.

Lyle's Update on Mihret

2011-07-28T21:32:00.002-06:00

Lyle is still recovering from his very quick trip to Ethiopia for court. He spent more time traveling than in Ethiopia so his body is confused with all the changing sleep patterns. Welcome to fatherhood again! Hopefully soon he'll be able to come on himself and write about his trip.

For now, here's an update on Mihret:

She's emotional. It's very understandable given Lyle was a new person to her and Lyle is a man. She doesn't know men at the foster home. But when she finally relaxed, it resulted in her sleeping in his arms.

She's definitely gained weight. She's at 20 lbs now at 11 months. She went from being underweight to overweight. Although she has teeth, they are still feeding her a very high fat protein mix of formula and baby cereal mixed.

Her hair is not as curly as Mikiyas'. More loose curls. While Lyle was there they kept slicking it back with Vaseline or something.

She really enjoys music and can keep a good beat.

She absolutely L.O.V.E.D. the little toy Mikiyas picked for her. She wouldn't put it down.

She, and all the children, are very well taken care of and loved at the foster home.

I don't think there was anything else to add. Lyle's at work and I can't remember now. If there's more, he'll hopefully add it to his post [if it gets done ;)].

Afrikadey

2011-07-26T13:59:00.001-06:00

On another note ... we are hoping you can join us in Calgary for the Afrikadey Celebration. Mikiyas and I will be speaking at the Friday night symposium held at the Library main branch. We have the wonderful opportunity to meet and speak with many award winning professionals. Please come join us Friday, August 12, 2011 at 7:00 pm. Here are some highlights of who will be there, and other things happening:

Angélique Kidjo, Grammy Award-Winner, http://www.kidjo.com/

2010 Crowd Favourite - Nomfusi Gotyana, http://www.myspace.com/nomfusi

Shad K., Juno Award-Winner, www.shadk.com

Kids 12 & under and Seniors 65+ get in free on the August 13th event.

Creative Youth Concert on August 10th, will feature the top youth acts from our Black History Month Creative Youth Concert.

Opening Gala on August 8th will feature a very unique band called Etran Finatawa who perform the Saharan Blues. This event will also feature a special screening of the film "13 Months of David" by Dr. Nic David, a fashion show, African appetizers, dancing, and jazz poetry by Malcolm Mooney and percussionist Luis Tovar.

My Day of Court

2011-07-25T04:24:00.000-06:00

I spent most of Sunday keeping myself busy and not thinking about the fact that Lyle would soon be waking up to attend the all-too-important court date. Mikiyas and I attended the block party in the afternoon. He had a blast and as I kept having to answer questions about court and repetitively telling people that "yes, sometimes court doesn't go through for the adoptive family" I became increasingly psyched out.

Most people are of the assumption that court is easy-breezy and always goes through without a hitch. Yes, the percentage is much higher that it does go through than that it doesn't. However, there are times that families who have accepted their referral, attached themselves to their new child, embraced and prepared themselves in every way, have had the heartbreak of losing their child at the court session for any number of reasons. This recently happened to friends of ours and they have constantly been on my mind since as a reminder that we don't always know the outcome.

Mikiyas and I spent the evening enduring the pain of corn rows. He looks amazing and oh-so-karate kid. This kept my mind off things. I then headed to bed early, expecting that I'd not be able to fall asleep. Miraculously, I was out rather quickly. I woke up about 2:20 am and was done for. Lyle and I texted a couple of times. At 11:47 pm he said "we will be going in soon". I laugh now because it was at 3:03 am that the next text came saying "still waiting to get in to the see the judge". Exactly two minutes later he says "Done court now. I will call in a few minutes from the guest house".

I sat on pins and needles for over half an hour. The phone rings and I hear a strong Ethiopian accent shout into the phone "Calling from Ethiopia. Speak up!".

We went through. Court is successfully done. After all the travel, money, exhaustion, five hours of waiting at the courthouse, Lyle's two minutes before the judge are complete and rewarding. It was worth it! Lyle is headed for lunch and then will be meeting our daughter. Now we lift up our thanks to God.

MOWA is twenty days behind on their cases. So we shall see what God's timing is from here.

Lyle's Gone For Court

2011-07-23T18:19:00.000-06:00

Lyle left for Ethiopia on Thursday [Jul 21'11]. I had next to no kids for the morning so I was able to take those I had to the airport with me. This meant I was able to drive Lyle myself, rather than having someone else go. It was good that Mikiyas and I could say by there, and I could be on standby should any of the bags be over weight. However, everything was allowed through and our scale at home still seems to match that of the airport. Other people in line weren't so lucky. In total, the donations amounted to 93.6 lbs, and we are so thankful for everyone who contributed the various items.

Lyle arrived in Ethiopia about 24 hours later. It was Friday night for him. After the various airport line ups, he arrived safely at the guest house and slept. His Saturday was spent shopping with other families he was staying with. I finally was able to speak to him today [our Saturday noon and his Saturday bed time]. He said he bought A LOT of things, mainly keeping in mind the things we are providing to HOPE International for the fundraising dinner in October. The families also attended the National Museum. This will be something he'll repeat on our next trip as we'd like to take Mikiyas there.

His Sunday he is off to the Portuguese Bridge two hours outside the city. It is apparently fascinating and will be a repeated trip when we go to pick up Mihret. He will likely spend tomorrow evening visiting our dear friend Robel. It has been too long since we've last visited.

So all is going well. We miss him and wish desperately we could be there with him. It is hard being the mom to our soon-to-be-daughter and not being able to meet her or attend the court. It is hard to not be part of what Lyle is doing. The one joy of having the bed to myself was stolen by the cat, the dog and Mikiyas. It seems everyone misses having Lyle home.

The one thing Lyle stressed on the phone today was the overwhelming amount of donations the foster home receives. It appears they are inundated with items. This is not always the case but with the extra trips for court, they are now receiving double loads. So, we will be revamping our donation plans for the big trip we hope to take soon.

Thank you for your continued prayers. I hope to be sharing wonderful news of court in a few days!

Court Closure

2011-07-15T11:51:00.000-06:00

Court closure dates in Ethiopia for 2011 have been released. The Ethiopian Court be closed from August 8 to September 19 for the rainy season.

The dates could change slightly as it is based on Ethiopia's rainy season.

I Learned Something New:

2011-07-11T14:29:00.000-06:00

Apparently the reason Mikiyas gets tired in the afternoons is because it's past his bedtime in Ethiopia.

Calgary Metro News

2011-06-28T14:31:00.001-06:00

Boy, 6, wants to bring clean water to Ethiopia

Katie Turner/Metro

Mikiyas Hatton, 6, wants to prevent kids from dying from

unsanitary water in his home country of Ethiopia.

KATIE TURNER

METRO CALGARY

Published: June 28, 2011

Mikiyas Hatton may be young, but he knew from the age of four that he wanted to help children in his home country of Ethiopia.

Sheri Hatton, Mikiyas’s adopted mom, said she and her husband, Lyle, took their son to a fundraiser for HOPE International two years ago and something stuck with him.

“I said we need to go help them and we need to go help the kids,” said Mikiyas, now 6.

“For the next month he hounded me,” explained Sheri, adding Mikiyas wanted to send their tap water from Airdrie to Ethiopia.

“I was proud that he cared for people back home,” said Lyle. “He does have a compassionate heart, and it’s nice to see him act upon it.”

Shortly after, Sheri said she looked in to partnering with HOPE International to raise $25,000 for a water system for an entire village.

“I went to him and said, ‘This is what we’re going to do because of you,’ and he started crying,” said Sheri of her son’s reaction. “He said, ‘We’re superheroes.’”

Since then, the Hatton’s have raised nearly $17,000 through fundraising and HOPE has gone ahead with sponsoring the permanent water system.

The family will travel to Ethiopia this winter to bring home their adopted daughter Mihret, and potentially visit the village they’ve helped bring life to.

Court Soon To Be In Session

2011-06-24T13:25:00.000-06:00

Caller ID can be an evil thing. When the phone rings and you have Caller ID, you naturally look at it before answering. You can choose to answer it or let it go to a message. When you're waiting days on end of good news, your stomach automatically does a flip when the Caller ID shows their name.

The phone rang and I glanced. My stomach did a flip and I answered with a ... nothing. Nothing came out of my mouth for the first 5 seconds. I finally spurted out a hello. She replied hi back and gave her name. I said "you must have a court date for me". Indeed, she did. I then informed her that my stomach did a flip and she must call more often to alleviate me from getting sick every time they phone me.

Court will happen on July 25. Given the time change, we will actually be asleep while Lyle attends court. Okay, the rest of the world will be asleep. I likely won't be either.

So there we have it ... court is July 25. We are delighted. I actually seemed more excited about court than when I received the referral call!

The court closures will still affect us, but not as bad. They will affect us because after the Judge approves us as parents, MOWA [Ministry of Women's Affairs] has to approve us. They do 1 to 4 weeks after court when they're behind, which they are now. Then the court will process their approval. When MOWA's approval goes through, however, court will be closed and our file will wait until they return after September.

There is still hope of a December arrival, but we must also prepare our hearts that it can be in the New Year of 2012.

What Are We Waiting For?

2011-06-18T09:24:00.000-06:00

We are waiting for court. We are waiting for news that Lyle needs to go to Ethiopia by himself to stand before a judge and be told that we can be Mihret's parents.

It is approximately 4-5 months post referral that parents will attend court. We received our referral in March so court could be July or August.

You generally get 3-5 weeks notice of court. So we could be assigned a court date any day.

However, if we don't get a court date assigned very quickly now, we will have to wait through court closures, which occur for August and September. (Wouldn't it be weird if our courts closed for two months to celebrate New Years?!)

That means we need to be assigned our court date right away to fall into the timeline of traveling in 3-5 weeks before the closure occurs. Only July works because in August they're usually closed.

Our second choice is to be assigned a court date ASAP so that it happens right after courts open in October. If not, we have to wait for courts to open and then be assigned a date for another 3-5 weeks after that.

Travel for pick up occurs 4-5 months post court. If we get a July court date, we could possibly bring Mihret home for Christmas. If we get an October court date that could possibly mean pick up in February or March. And so on and so forth. You can do the math from there.

So, let's all pray for a court date to be assigned ASAP!

*The time estimates have been provided by CAFAC, however, they are all best case time frames. Sometimes paper work glitches, bureaucracy etc can cause further delays.

Pregnancy vs. Adoption

2011-06-01T14:28:00.001-06:00

Not too long ago a friend had asked me how I was handling the referral news. When she was expecting her second child it was overwhelming at times. A big adjustment to think about. It can throw your mind in a muddle knowing that 9 months later you'd be having a second child running around. She had asked if I had accepted the reality yet; whether I was out of sorts in my mind with the news.

A lot of answers rolled through my head. None of them did I really expect her to fully grasp from my perspective. I did tell her that things can happen in different timings during the adoption process. People often attach to their child at different stages simply because the process is much longer than nine months.

Accepting the fact that I had a daughter was never an issue for me. I've always known that I have had one. We have never said "when we have one" or "if we have one". We've also said "we have a daughter in Ethiopia right now" when having to discuss our family. We've always had a daughter; Mikiyas has always had a sister. She just isn't home. So the news that we have a daughter was not shocking. It was not overwhelming. It did not make me feel out of sorts knowing that I'd be having another child enter my home. It was a fact we already knew. Perhaps that is why I didn't freak out when we got our referral. Why I was so calm.

We have been on this journey for three and a half years now. The news that we have a daughter is nothing new; it's not a surprise. The only difference at this point is that we have a name and a photograph. We now know a little more information about our daughter we've always had.

Attaching to her? It is different. I can say that I am attached to this beautiful little girl. I'm loving her more each day. I'm accepting her and embracing the reality that she will be home. Bonding and deep attachment will come and grow as we spend each and every day with her.

So things happen in different timing. But to compare adoption and pregnancy, I think of it like this:

Starting the adoption process is like finding out you are already expecting. The excitement and joy in knowing that you are now going to have a new child is in full force. Yahoo!

Once you receive your referral it's like having your first ultra sound and seeing your baby growing. The true reality and butterflies come. But you already knew you were pregnant. Now it's just that much more real. It just takes much, MUCH longer to reach that "ultrasound / referral stage" for adoptive families.

Waiting for court to make you the legal parents of your expected child is like waiting through the first trimester. Confirmation that it "stuck"; that the danger period is over. You're now safe to tell all the other people you haven't already told. You're now able to say with confidence "I AM EXPECTING". And you can even feel confident in telling the approximate due date. Of course, even pregnancy due dates can be off. Kids can be early or late.

Traveling hours on end to a third world country, embracing a new culture, language, food, people etc. is called labor. Contractions can be painful as you go through multiple security checks and lack of sleep and continue to complete mounds of paper work.

Coming home with a huge amount of jet lag and a child that doesn't know you, the house, the food, the smells, the pets, the voices, the language .... that's like coming home from the hospital. It isn't much different. And even if the adopted child is not a newborn, it sure isn't easy. Mikiyas was almost three and I had months of sleepless nights. Different reasonings than a newborn but same results. What can be different is the view outsiders have: the adopted child isn't newborn so there's no need to offer help cleaning or meals or coming by so mom can have a nap. No matter the age, the process and being home with a brand new child is exhausting.

So is pregnancy and adoption much different? Yes and no. All depends on how you look at it.

Confession Monday: Tuesday Edition

2011-05-31T07:24:00.001-06:00

I confess that...

... I'm not near my computer enough to even do blog posts. My blackberry works for email, facebook [for the most part] and twitter that unless I have work to do, I'm not at my computer. And when it's work time, I've usually only made enough time to get the work done and therefore can't do the extras, like blog posts.

... last night I may have ear-witnessed a car theft. I woke Lyle up and we both jumped to the window but saw nothing as they'd already vanished. Very loud truck followed by a car alarm that managed to fade quickly as if being driven away.

... we went camping in Drumheller for the May long weekend. As we were packing up we had to call 911 as the man across from us was abusing his son. It was an older boy, maybe twelve. It was heart-breaking.

... Mikiyas finished grade one two weeks ago. He doesn't know yet. I've been giving him extra things to do so he doesn't distract the preschoolers while they do their activities.

... I received a most beautiful and heart-felt surprise from a friend the other day. It shocked me to say the least. This friend and I do business together and there's always that feeling of "I need to do something in return". Receiving this gift really made me realize even more that we're not just business friends, but really, truly friends.

... we went for Ethiopian on the weekend for a birthday dinner for Lyle. It really made me miss Ethiopia and it's culture. I can't wait to go back. Maybe another 10 months??

... this morning Mikiyas said he really wants his sister home. I thought that was sweet. But then he followed it up with "so we can get my brother home after".

... we've been enjoying the friendship of someone out here. We don't see each other near enough. But the friendship reminds me of a friend in BC. They are nothing alike and have nothing in common, but the type of friendship reminds me of a BC friend. I've missed that type of friendship.

... I've learned just how much the way I raise my son is watched because of dayhome. I feel like I will never be able to raise my son correctly. That every time something is done wrong or simply because he's a 6-year-old boy, judgement is made. I suspected it was happening, but really hearing it from the horse's mouth made me cringe. Now I feel like I'm under a microscope, and Mikiyas even more, when we're around them. I feel like I need him to be perfect around them, and not just a 6-year-old boy. My job has brought this pressure and I don't like it. But, I've know in my heart and in my mind that I can't let that negative attention happen so I'm trying my best to ignore it. He has every right to be a 6-year-old boy learning the ways of life, just like everyone else, regardless of my job.

... while walking through a large store recently, someone asked if there was no school as Mikiyas was with me. He said he is homeschooled. The horror on the woman's face was priceless as she stammered out "Adopted and homeschooled? You really are screwing this one up.". Next time, freedom of speech may be followed by a fist but I was too stunned to move that quickly.

... I received an awesome [and very expensive] hand-me-down gift from a cousin on Lyle's side. It was nice to finally meet her as we've only known each other on facebook. And it was so wonderful receiving a Chariot bike wagon. Considering she was offered a lot of money for it, and she chose to give it to us, really meant a lot!

... we have an ant farm and a worm farm in our kitchen. Here's hoping they don't escape!

Confession Monday

2011-05-09T19:01:00.000-06:00

I confess that ...

... I've never been a runner. I have exercised induced asthma that has limited my running since junior high.

... I ran today so fast I shocked myself and my shoes.

... I didn't die.

... I only ran a short ways.

... a retriever of some sort almost lost his life today after it bee-lined across a field and took out Mikiyas while he was riding his brand new bike.

... although it was not an off-leash area, and the retriever was off-leash, I bent down and unhooked my dog's leash so he could go be the protective, loyal pet she is to Mikiyas around the retriever.

... my dog is incredibly fast.

... my dog can scare off big dogs.

... although a stranger spoke to Mikiyas, I am glad the landscaper of the area happened to be very close to Mikiyas and assisted him.

... I love my son's bike helmet. He hit his head on the cement pathway. If not for the helmet, we would have been calling 911.

... I believe I may need to buy a new helmet. Are helmets like car seats? Only good for one crash.

... I am really hoping my husband can fix Mikiyas' bike. It's brand new and although a good deal, it's not like we have cash growing in the garden to pay for extra repairs. The teenager with the loose dog apologized and got out before I was done checking over Mikiyas. I didn't check the bike before he left because Mikiyas was more important.

... all other confessions have been forgotten as my mind is still thinking of the crazy dog / son / bike collision.

... I will end with this confession: I have been a very moody-out-of-my-mind woman the last week. I think my mom needs to come back for a visit.

Need I Say More? No.

2011-05-03T18:30:00.000-06:00

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Confession Monday

2011-05-02T10:38:00.000-06:00

I confess that...

... We received a photo update of Mihret last week. She looks much healthier.

... I managed to drive to and from 100 Mile House for Easter weekend with Mikiyas and I didn't fall asleep while doing so. Miracles do happen!

... Easter candy is becoming an enemy of mine. We bought Mikiyas one thing. Everyone else bought him loads. I wish he would eat it so I don't want to. He keeps telling me to eat it, and although I've managed to restrain thus far, because I'm eating all my own, I will run out soon.

... I should really throw out his Halloween candy now. He never even finished the ten pieces he chose from the bucket, let alone all the rest he got.

... As much as it is good news that Osama is not personally a threat anymore, I'm not thrilled about his death. I'm not one of the ones partying and shouting for joy. Now I'm just wondering how much retaliation his followers will bring on. And honestly, no matter the crime, since when do we celebrate a person's death?

... I find it interesting that Osama's death is the anniversary of "Mission Accomplished" and also the day it went public that Hitler had died the day prior.

... I was more nervous than Mikiyas was at his Taekwondo test on Friday. Tonight he will hopefully receive his next belt at the presentation ceremony.

... I was appalled to see an 18 month old child watching a full on action flick at the theater the other day. Every time gun fire went off, he screamed. Babysitting is expensive, but children should be trumping entertainment. Parents: take the hint and leave!

... I have a full To Do list today and I better get on it. It includes another long drive to the dental surgeon for my 5 minute check on the implant. Ugh!

... I have to book an eye appointment. Receiving a boomerang in the eye last week was not the best thing for me.

... I no longer fear potty training. I have 3 2-year-olds potty training in my house right now.

Third Day Continues to Rock!

2011-04-19T21:27:00.000-06:00

Saw this on another blog. I've always enjoyed this song but had not seen the video. The video speaks volumes. Love it!

Confession Monday

2011-04-18T17:09:00.000-06:00

I confess that ...

... I don't know what to post about today. I can't come up with anything. I am sure I have many things to "confess" as I'm not perfect, but I just can't think of things to type here.

... hmm ... I'm packing.

... I'm looking forward to Easter weekend.

... I'm already enjoying Easter candy.

... I loved watching the new movie "Rio" yesterday. I really enjoyed being able to confirm with Mikiyas that he figured out the boy at the end of the movie was adopted by the couple. Another inter-racial adoption to celebrate!

... I'm looking forward to Easter Egg Hunts.

... I still hesitate a little with accepting Mihret as my daughter. It's not legal. I was much further along in the accepting stage when Mikiyas' referral came. From the moment I received the referral I accepted and KNEW he was my son. With Mihret, I'm a little more hesitant. I've seen a lot more adoptions fall through over the past few years. People have lost referrals due to health, biological family coming forward etc. I kind of feel like I did during two of my pregnancies following a miscarriage. I'm a little nervous to attach in case it goes awry. I want her to be my daughter. Trust me, I do. I just feel hesitant to tattoo it until it's legal. :)

... Yes, it'll be tattooed.

What Do You Get When ...

2011-04-14T08:34:00.003-06:00

Let me begin by saying I wasn't going to post about this at all, especially on the public blog. I changed my mind though. When I originally started the blog oh-so-many years ago, I hoped that I'd not only keep our family and friends up-to-date with things, but also help people learn more as there wasn't always enough information out there. I was one of a handful of blogs out there in the beginning. Of course, times have changed and there's a million blog resources out there now.

So this morning when I was pondering on whether to share, I was reminded of continuing to use what we go through to help others. Even without going into specifics on some things, it can be done. I find a lot of times, once children are home, blogs go private or those that remain public focus on the wonderful things that happen. I put our blog private and shared A LOT about some of the trials we went through after Mikiyas came home. People relished in the honesty and realization that it ain't always easy. And that they weren't alone.

I decided to do this post public, without a ton of specifics, to remind people to be prepared. And that once the child is home, it doesn't mean the journey is over. It's life long. It's happy and joyous, and sometimes quite painful. Also, I know that Mikiyas has a HUGE heart of gold. He has a teaching instinct built into his mind. He is overflowing with compassion. I know that if we share enough to help one person, he is comfortable with the embarrassment of people knowing. So no, I'm not a terrible mother sharing the privacy of my son.

But, for all you waiting parents, not every adoptive family goes through this either. Some children are affected in no way. Some are affected differently. Each child is unique.

So, what do you get when ...

... it's the month before your Gotchya Day anniversary and your sub-conscious works overtime. You don't know what to do with the emotions that come from nowhere. One area of your life regresses back into a toddler stage. Every year it's the same, but you still catch everyone by surprise, including yourself. You don't know what your mind is going through. Your body confuses you. You're unsure how to verbalize.

... your family gets a referral for a new sister. You are over the moon excited, but right now? At the same time you are already confused about your own situation? Life needs to be about you right now. More questions arise. The waiting isn't helping. Why is mom always doing adoption papers all of a sudden? Why is she complaining about the bank? She has a different Ethiopia mommy? Why? What happened?

... these two crazy things are making me think about my Ethiopia family. All the questions. All these new thoughts. All these crazy feelings.

You get Mikiyas. You get our son expressing some rage. You hear very hurtful words come from his mouth that you know he doesn't mean. You know it's not personal. You know come morning it will all be as if it didn't happen. You deal with it as best as you can. As much as you want to get angry back and yell and cry and let him know just how much it hurts, you don't. You take a deep breath and talk in the calmest way you can. You share love. And you be patient. So much patience. You wait for him to let it out and be ready to listen to your own loving words. You wait for him to allow you to hold him and accept everything you have to offer. And you never, ever blame.

And then you wait for it to happen again. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Maybe this year's pain is over and it's done until next anniversary. But you hope it never comes back. But you wait, just in case.

I share this, not looking for sympathy. I share this, in hopes that you other parents going through things like this privately, may know that you are not alone. You are not a horrible parent. You are not doing a bad job raising your child. Your child is not evil. It just happens to some of us. And, as all things work for the good to those who believe, amazing things will come from this. It will make you and your child stronger. It may just be the thing that allows your child to be a very gifted person in a different way from somebody else.

When I was young, I went through something very crappy. I never understood why. I tried to figure out why I deserved it. Many years later I was working on the streets of Vancouver with homeless teens. No one could reach this one girl. I finally grasped and told her of this thing in my life. She finally grabbed on for help. And she went home, to her family. My story was never told again. But I knew at that moment that had I not gone through it, I wouldn't have reached her deep down where she needed it. And, for me, it made my pain worth it. I can only hope and pray that Mikiyas' pain and hurt will be part of what continues to mold him into the most compassionate child I've ever met.

Mikiyas and His Adorable Mail

2011-04-13T14:26:00.002-06:00

Mikiyas is really starting to enjoy checking the mail. He seems to rake in such wonders. Today, he got the mail and we were all surprised to find an exciting package. Some very special friends sent him and Mihret a present. After opening it, he said "I really can't wait for her to come home now! I want to wear my new T-shirt!!".

Thanks friends. You guys know just the perfect things.

I finally got some fun mail too. Not just bills, although there was another adoption bill in the bundle today too. Thanks to some very important twins from BC for my froggy card. How did you know that we were looking at the life cycle of a frog for science? So thoughtful.

Confession Monday

2011-04-11T10:20:00.000-06:00

I confess that ...

... after seeing just how much we spend in a year on haircuts [and we don't pay a dime for Mikiyas'], I actually wondered if I should go back to school to become a hairdresser. Ridiculous. And we don't even go to one of those fancy smancy salons. Nor do I dye my hair.

... I am really looking forward to Easter weekend. So is Mikiyas!

... I think I like Ethiopian food more than Canadian.

... I sent off all our paperwork and LOADS of dollars to CAFAC on Saturday.

... I have a fear of losing my cat, Sandi, now that I've already lost Carmin. I need to call the vet about her eye but I'm nervous I'll get bad news.

... I need April to be over.

... I am still in my pajamas trying to be motivated at 10:00am. I need to get a move on things before the day is wasted!

... I used to parent quite well without yelling at all. Over the last year I've become a parent who yells. Not all the time but definitely enough that I feel guilty and hate myself for it. Mikiyas let's it go, but I don't. I need to. And I need to go back to the way it was. Habits are hard to break!

... I look forward to when my dog is a little older. I'm hoping she'll be a little easier to walk. But I am sure enjoying the walks I am getting in with her now that the weather is getting nicer. I've been trying to go for an hour every evening. Her and I both love it.

... I still have bought nothing for Mihret. I am so proud.

Passport Delivered

2011-04-07T13:39:00.000-06:00

Our Canada Post lady is becoming a favorite of mine. She was delighted to bring to us a third passport envelope today. Yes, Mikiyas' passport came and we are quite happy about this. No hiccups. No long drawn out explanations. No struggles. No frustrations.

Finally, a government document that came without a problem! And quickly too!

Congratulations to Us!

2011-04-05T06:30:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we received our very first baby card for Mihret from my brother and sister-in-law.

Last week we received a Groovy Girls doll for Mihret from my dear friend.

Thanks guys! It brings us excitement in knowing you're excited too.

Confession Monday

2011-04-04T10:10:00.000-06:00

I confess that...

... today is my first Monday off work in a long time and I'm loving every moment of it. However, my body decided that it would wake up at the normal designated time. Had I set my alarm and had to work, I'd not been able to pull myself out of bed. Why do we always do that?

... I didn't do a confessional last Monday because, ironically enough, as my last Monday of work I was maxed out with a house FULL of children, instead of the usual one. I also had to do all our referral acceptance signing and phone calls.

... I felt guilty for a few days after the referral. I didn't cry or get freaky excited like I did with Mikiyas' referral. I kept thinking of all the referral stories out there and how I was so calm and complacent. Also didn't help my guilt that the first thought in my mind was "Crap - potty training" when I heard her age.

... I considered that my subconscious was actually feeling a little bothered by the adoption, without me having any idea. Duh - that's what subconscious means right? This week I have had a renewed feeling towards my dayhome / preschool program. But that could also come from knowing I no longer work Mondays! I really do think it's the latter. I only said I considered the former.

... I've been posting five things I'm grateful for each day on Twitter. It's fun. I usually think of so many things now, but at the same time, my first instinct is to always post the same, more obvious things. There's many things to be thankful for and I forcing myself to look past the obvious continues to teach me about the huge amount of things we really do have to be thankful for.

... Mikiyas and I may both be starting piano lessons. I've always dreamed of learning to play. Mikiyas has always wanted to but, still being a child, we will see if that leads beyond a few months of plunking away.

... I'm jealous of how much fun mail Mikiyas gets. I get crap.

... I almost booked a trip to Disneyland. We would love SO much to give that to Mikiyas as part of his final months of being an only child. As part of his final years without a little sibling following him around, or limiting what rides he could go on. He's, of course, never been. But hitting the next step in the adoption definitely calls for more funds. We didn't book the trip. If anyone happens to win the lottery and wants to send us, feel free.

... I typed some of this on an iPad just to see what it'd be like to type on.

... I had quite a laugh when I ended up buying a size 0 pants at one store followed by a size 8 pants at a store just down the hall last week. One store makes you feel very good, while the other depresses you. I laughed further when I found out the store with size 0 also has size 00.

... I feel guilty every time I hear of just how much people incorporate organic and natural items into their homes, especially people who do everything organic. I do some things but I can't afford to do it all, nor do I understand all the ingredients on labels. And no I don't have time to start researching and memorizing what the ingredients mean. I'd need to walk around a store with a computer to look each thing up. Can you imagine how long it would take me to buy all my groceries!? I'm just thankful our family has food.

Mail Bag

2011-04-01T16:16:00.000-06:00

Today we actually had mail delivered to the door. This never happens here as everything goes to the mail box down the street. The lady said that it seemed I was extra important today as I had four registered mail items, all requiring signatures. Normally signatures mean a trip to the post office. She was being extra nice!

We received our Letter or No Objection from the Government of Alberta. Seriously, I had not heard of that office doing anything quickly. Maybe some sucking up is happening since they had lost our file during our home study update.

We also received all the Referral Acceptance papers from CAFAC. These are different than Monday's acceptance papers done for the Province.

In addition, Lyle and I both received our new passports. Until I get Mikiyas' passport, I won't completely relax about this subject. The charge has gone through on the credit card but, I'm still expecting something to go wrong.

So the mail was triumphantly successful today. I am pleased.

Update: Health and Name

2011-03-30T20:42:00.002-06:00

HEALTH:

Today we received some updated news on how Mihret is doing. She has gained weight, shrunk in length [obviously a measurement error somewhere], and chest and head have grown as well. Her respiratory infection / pneumonia is completely clear. They are going to still do the iron test for us to see if numbers have increased.

In addition, her development is moving along. She's smiling at caregivers, starting on more solid food, rolling around and sitting up with support. Mihret is doing wonderfully.

That about sums it up.

NAME:

We have decided to pronounce Mihret's name as what CAFAC has been calling her in Ethiopia. She will be most used to that when we embrace her, and it is easier for all you Westerners that can't roll your tongue. It will also be easier for kids to pronounce. So here it is:

Mih as in mirror. Not Me as in melt. Not Mi as in Mike.

Ret as in retribution. Not Ret as in return.

Hopefully that helps. Mikiyas will continue to pronounce it the "Mi-he-ret" way, with a beautiful roll of the tongue that comes so naturally to him. He wasn't impressed that we decided to do it the way we are until I pointed out that everyone calls him Miki, which is a shortened, easier way of saying Mikiyas. And we did not change any spelling or take away how it is pronounced in Ethiopia. We just did it the easier of the two ways. Mikiyas is slowly accepting this.

Referral Story

2011-03-29T13:41:00.000-06:00

Question 11 - for Sharla: Are you going to tell us more about the day you got THE CALL?

Well the story isn't too fancy. Nothing epic to say the least. I had the dayhome going full swing. Lyle was at work and Mikiyas was upstairs playing with his friend. I was talking with one of the moms as she was at the house picking up her children. The phone rang with an unknown name on the caller ID. Just a phone number. I assumed it was another mom calling about pick up times.

As soon as the caller said her name and where she was calling from I knew what it was about. Why else would we get a random call from them. Aside from that, do you remember me posting on my February 27, 2011 Confessional that I received some wonderful words regarding our adoption? "... something special was said by someone I hardly know. But this something made me excited about our adoption again. It's amazing how just the right words, the most unexpected words, from an unknown person rather than those spoken to so often, can make a world of difference." Well, those words that were spoke were during prayer time. He said that we would receive our referral within the next 3 months. The neat thing about prophetic prayer is that he doesn't recall that he said that. So we've been expecting a call to come.

The social worker simply asked if she could come over an hour later to go over a child proposal. I said "Really?!". That was it. When I was on the phone with the SW, the mom that was here quickly caught on to my side of the conversation. She had tears while I calmly spoke. I was told nothing over the phone, other than prying out of her that it was for one child, not two. I wanted to know that much so I could prepare Mikiyas. We had never really spoken to him much about the possibility of two kids coming. If necessary, I needed time to prepare him before the SW came to the house.

I called Lyle right away to ask him to come home right after work - scheduled time - rather than staying a little late as he often does. He asked if everything was okay and I said "the SW is coming - understand?" and he did.

Meanwhile, the mom was still here, asking lots of questions. She didn't understand why I was so calm when she was so emotional. Other moms were coming to pick up kids too so she composed herself and left knowing to keep it quiet until otherwise told.

One mom was here when Lyle got home. She asked right away why he was here so early. She thought it odd and I said "family time tonight".

The house was immaculately clean as, oddly enough, I spent the morning doing an overhaul. Emptying closets, the pantry, boot room and reorganizing and cleaning. Vacuuming, dusting .... obviously I was nesting.

Lyle and I didn't say much to each other. Just sat around waiting for the SW, who was 15 minutes later than expected. We warned Mikiyas he'd be missing Taekwondo as we would be with the SW. He was fine. As soon as she sat down at our table, he accosted her for photos. Usually she leaves those to the end, but she gave them to him first given his demand. Lyle did most of the talking with her about medical etc. I spent my time staring at her age and name. The age shocked us and the first thing I said was "I might not be missing potty training with this one." I had my laptop ready to find the name meaning.

That about sums it up. We ended the meeting with the social worker asking questions about the next adoption. Yes, we are weird.

A Little More Detail Please?

2011-03-28T09:47:00.000-06:00

So the brief tidbit about the referral is out. You got the important stuff. Now for a little more detail sicne the questions are rolling in.

1. Is she healthy?

Yes, Mihret is healthy. She will have the usual parasites going through her system and malnourishment. In addition, she has had a bout with pneumonia, likely when she was about two months old. The lab work we have is from when she was recovering so it shows a high white blood count and very low iron. Requests for current lab work has been done. With low iron, which is not really a result of pneumonia, can indicate a trait called Thalassemia so we need to know if the low iron was from something else underlying that has passed, or if it's a long term thing. A new lab report will tell us if the iron has built back up with the iron supplements she is on. At the time she was recovering from pneumonia, she was quite malnourished too so her weight was just under the 3 percentile. Her height was at the 97 percentile. Long and lean. The pictures we received show her at 7 months old so it's obvious she's gained weight and gotten much healthier. New measurements have been requested as well. In short, nothing crazy or unusual. She's a healthy little girl.

2. Did we expect so young?

Absolutely not. Having quite an open age range, we expected an older child as a higher number of people request younger than older. There are a higher number of young ones being placed as of late, and it is suspected that it is because of the failing economy and people have to relinquish sooner.

3. How are we staying so calm?

This seems to be a very common question. We just are. We have about another year to go before we get her. It's been three and half years so far. We've learned patience. Plus we've been through this before so we know that freaking out and wanting her tomorrow will get us nowhere except depressed.

4. Have we been shopping?

No. And we won't be for a long time. We learned our lesson with Mikiyas. We'll get what we need to get started before she comes home, but a lot of things we'll get once she is here.

5. When do we get her?

Optimistically, ten to twelve months. With the recent news of MOWA cutting back their processing of files by 90%, no one has felt the effects of that taking place yet. CAFAC advised me this morning that MOWA works the files about two weeks before the parent court date. It's such a recent decision that they don't know how much of a delay will be caused. Right now, the parent court dates happen three to five months post referral. That could change and then make the whole post-referral process longer than ten to twelve months. We shall see.

6. Is Mikiyas excited?

Beyond excited. He was shaking with excitement. But he knows it's a long wait yet and he is content.

7. Will we be fundraising to help with our adoption costs?

We are undecided. Although it would be helpful, there are many other causes and people that need more than we do.

8. Will we make her name easier to say, or as some people say it, "What are you doing with that"?

Mihret can be pronounced two different ways. Most commonly, it is Mih-he-ret, with a slight roll of the tongue on ret. The other way is Mir-ret, like it is spelled, also with a slight roll. CAFAC has been calling her Mir-ret so that will likely be what she will be used to. We've also been considering calling her a shortened version, just like Miki is short for Mikiyas. We are not fully decided on it, but will get back to you.

9. What happened to her parents? or Why was she placed for adoption?

As it was / is with Mikiyas, we will not be sharing the personal details of the kids' adoption stories. It is their story, some of which they don't fully know or fully understand. When they understand it and are ready to share it, then it can be their decision to tell you.

10. Are they brother and sister?

Because I know what the question means, I will say that they are not biologically related. But to answer the question as stated, YES. And once everything is legal, that will be the only way we answer the question as stated.

Referral News!!

2011-03-25T19:24:00.000-06:00

Our referral came today. My cousin's birthday is today too. I'm sure I'll never forget her birthday now knowing that March 25, 2011 is the day we received the referral.

Someone asked me how come I was so calm. We are calm. Our house is calm. It has been busy with phone calls and emails since the social worker left about an hour ago so we're celebrating with macaroni and cheese with hotdogs. Not exactly the celebratory dinner. It's quick and easy.

We're beyond excited. We're happy. We're delighted. But we're calm and just going on about the night as normal. After waiting 3 1/2 years the reality of actually receiving a referral hasn't fully set in. It will.

She is beautiful. She looks so much like Mikiyas, although her curly hair isn't nearly as tight as Mikiyas'. She is 7 months old. Much younger than we expected as we asked for under 3 years and usually referrals come through at the higher end of the age request. So the age is a surprise.

She is stunning. She's healthy, cute and has a beautiful name.

When we started Mikiyas' adoption, I always felt that we would end up with a child filled with compassion. And boy - did that become reality!! Since we started this adoption, I always felt that our little girl would be filled with grace. Her given name suits her well. Mihret [meaning forgiveness]. We have given her her middle name: Desta [meaning joy].

In short: We welcome to our hearts [and one day our house] Mihret Desta. And we are so blessed and in love with her beauty.

Another Primetime: What Would You Say?

2011-03-24T11:17:00.000-06:00

The other day I finally got around to watching another episode of Primetime: What Would You Say?. It aired February 25.

It was about two friends meeting for lunch. One of the friends showed up with her newly adopted daughter [probably age 5 or 6]. When it's two black women, it's a white daughter. When it's two white women, it's a black daughter.

The friend was horrified to see her friend having adopted a child of the opposite race. Remember, these are actors. The show is to see if / how bystanders in the restaurant will respond. The friend was loud, obnoxious and played the part well. Well enough that it made me angry, mainly because it recalled feelings of how I've felt when some people have said rude or obnoxious things to me.

What was said a couple of times from both black and white people was: "Blackbirds stay with blackbirds, doves stay with doves."

What was nice is seeing some real people defending the adoptions. Even one lady said she wouldn't do it, and that races should stay together, however, the friend should be supportive regardless. One gentleman said one of his sons is from his wife's previous marriage and he is black. He was very supportive and gave a lot of encouragement.

Passports

2011-03-23T12:37:00.000-06:00

About two weeks ago I sent in our passport applications. I mailed them. A part of me was nervous given Mikiyas' DOB issues in the past, but since it was all legal now I was hoping that I could try something the way a normal person might. Complete an application, provide credit card information and pop it in the mail.

Today I get a phone call. I see the call display as "Passport Canada" and I cringe. "Crap! I guess it wasn't going to be an easy task." is what ran through my head.

But alas! The man simply wanted to confirm the city in Ethiopia Mikiyas was born in. Seriously? That's it? Could it be? He thanked me and advised that we should have his passport in the next ten to twenty days.

In the almost four years we've had Mikiyas, a government application was FINALLY easy. Hallelujah! That was easier than soccer registration.

Confession Monday

2011-03-21T19:56:00.000-06:00

I confess that ...

... I finally did some satisfying shopping over the last couple of weeks. My greatest find was done today. A pair of Scarpa shoes, regular 179.00. I bought them for 39.00. So cozy!

... I had an absolute blast dressing up in green with fun hats and decorating the house for St. Patrick's Day. Days like that are so much better when there are kids involved. When Mikiyas was really young, days like St. Patrick's Day wasn't a big deal but now that he's a bit older, it's definitely fun to get into things. Dayhome kids help too.

... I have fallen in love with a new musical artist, Y*rum@. Thank you S for sharing his talent with me. It is very relaxing and the kids have enjoyed hearing play throughout the house too.

... I still love snow. But I am starting to wonder if we will have days this year without it. At least the -25 and colder weather seems to be done for a while. Apparently.

... I joined Twitter. Not really sure why. Lyle is on it and seems to have the most interesting tidbits of news and information. I'm on it now following a few people / companies. It is intriguing. Considering I don't watch the news, listen to the radio or read papers, I'm now more knowledgeable on current events.

... in learning of Mikiyas' very swollen tonsils today and the possibility of him having to have them removed, I became a little nervous. I had mine removed when I was four or five. My experience ended in a blood transfusion.

... I am over the moon proud of Mikiyas and how well he reads and how well his math is.

... after having a fabulous family day today, it made me so thankful that we are able to homeschool so Mikiyas can be part of adventures any day of the week.

Confession Monday

2011-03-14T17:48:00.000-06:00

Yup. It seems that I'm a Confession Monday kind of girl. Yes mom, I always have to be different. [:p this is me sticking my tongue out at you.] So, Confession Monday it is.

I confess that:

... after way too many hours with my head in the world of Tw*l*ght last weekend, I found myself going through withdrawal. After being consumed for hours on end with their lives, it was hard to not think about the books. They still appear when I'm dreaming, but at least they don't veer of story. Even my dreams are replaying the books perfectly. Ugh!

... I have found some new music that I am enjoying. It's a little different than what I'm used to, but I'm really enjoying it. Gr3g Scz3b3l and Just*n3 Allynn. Music plays in my house from 7:00 am until about 6:00 pm. I love it and needed something new.

... I've also been enjoying Tw*l*ght soundtracks. No, I'm not helping the withdrawal, I know.

... After spending last weekend reading that [do I dare type the word again?] series, I found it very hard to shift my mind to read N3lson M@nd3l@'s Conv3rs@tions with Mys3lf. I've gone from reading pages way too fast to reading the same page over and over again for days. I haven't made it past page one yet. Not that it's not a good book. I trust that it is. I've heard great things. I'm just not ready for the drastic transition of books quite yet.

... I've been enjoying moving furniture around and redecorating. Not really spending money doing it so that's a total bonus. I find I have to do this about once in a year. I enjoy change. I embrace change.

... I am confused as to what to do with photos. I haven't developed any photos in over two years now. Do I or don't I? I always like photo albums. Two years worth of developing is a lot of money followed by a lot of time putting in albums. Hmm...

... I loved taking my dog for a walk this afternoon. I was wonderful to do again. Our dear Pugsly has a condition with her leg. When it's below zero, her back legs locks up from the cold and she can't walk. One day she went out for a very quick pee in the backyard. She got stuck on the stairs coming back inside. She was just wailing. It's been a long winter of exercising her indoors in a small space.

... I worry that my son is growing up way too fast. I know. It sounds cliche and most moms feel that their kids grow up way too fast. But I'm actually concerned. His bedroom looks like a teenager lives there. Seriously, what are toys for? He even tends to his plant daily. His music taste is very adult-like. He's into cologne, trendy clothes and even deodorant. I seriously feel like I live with a teenager. His compassion for others is beyond most adults - this I love! He is honestly wise beyond his years. Does this mean he'll move out soon?

... I find it crazy that in two and a half months my son will be dine grade 1. Yup - we get three months of summer. The joy of homeschool!!

... I've eaten a granola bar and a cinnamon bun today. That's it. It's almost dinner time and I only had one child, plus my own today. Is this a sign of what my week will bring me? [No mom, I don't do this everyday!!]

... I love doing laundry. But I hate ironing. I try not to buy items [when we actually buy clothes!] that need ironing. I leave ironing to my aunt! I just wish she could live here and do mine for me. For now, we continue to wear the occasion wrinkled shirt.

... I'm proud of Lyle and his job. I just don't like his rotating schedule to include shifts where he doesn't get home until 6:30 pm.

... I received a phone call from a friend in BC today. It was pure joy. Thanks for calling! Miss you!

... it really sucks having to wait so long for your child through adoption. I feel that EVERY SINGLE DAY. But the other day I actually felt guilty for my mom. She's watched her brothers become grandpas over and over and over while she just waits.

... I had to remind myself that if I wasn't prepared to accept the adoption rollercoaster and the lengthy journey that goes with it, that we could have taken the easier route and had biological children. It's not just about getting any child from anywhere. It's about getting the specific child[ren] meant for our family from a specific place. It's about doing God's will, not the fastest or easiest route just for the sake of having children.

... my grumpy and emotional adoption days are pretty few and far between. Yes I think about how slow it is or that the newest country update is a real pain in the @$$, but I find the things rarely actually upset me. God is my strength.

Confession Monday

2011-03-07T17:31:00.001-07:00

Confession Monday. Maybe that works better for me. Fridays I'm usually too busy.

I confess that:

... I spent my weekend reading all four books of the Tw*l*ght series. All 2,444 pages. Yes, I did manage to still get cleaning, laundry, eating done. We even had dinner guests one evening, so I didn't completely negate my responsibilities.

... I am thankful to Lyle for giving me a most relaxing weekend of reading.

... I was not a ga-ga Tw*l*ght fan, but I did enjoy the movies. Now that I've read all the books, the movies aren't near as good. Perhaps I ruined the movies for myself.

... I stayed home reading which meant I didn't spend any money this weekend!

... I laughed hearing my son tell me that I didn't need to worry that there were many woman much prettier than me.

... my stomach is rather nauseous and I'm making a creamy celery and fennel soup from scratch. This means my already upset stomach is smelling black licorice [yech] and staring at a pot of bright green slop. Will I eat tonight?

... I read our Country Update today from CAFAC. I was upset enough that I felt like throwing in the towel. If not for the fact that we have put more than three years into this adoption already, I would! Good thing I felt quite relaxed when the email came. I could have made a very bad, spontaneous phone call out of anger.

Confession Friday, Late As Usual

2011-02-27T21:16:00.000-07:00

I confess that ...

... I haven't done this in a few weeks because I let my Fridays fly by in a flurry each week. Each Friday was filled to the brim.

... I spent February 18 trying to arrange a last minute trip to BC for Mikiyas and I since we had a long weekend. It didn't work out.

... I spent the morning of February 25 sitting in a dentist's chair freaking out. Again. At one point, I felt so much pain I had tears streaming down my face. I almost walked out, damn in place and all. Seriously, they think those damns are such wonderful things but they're not. I was ready to give them my definition for their "damn" things.

... I have given my notice to my clients that I will be taking Mondays off work again to focus better on Mikiyas himself, Mikiyas' schooling and Mikiyas' alone time with me. He shares me so much that he deserves to be a little more selfish in this area.

... I found a recipe for Ravioli Lasagna. I loved it so much I made it twice in one week. Quick, easy and delicious!

... we finally did Mikiyas' grade 1 school pictures. A few months late, but right on time when comparing to last years schedule. He was much harder to photograph this year than last. He tried so hard to do the perfect picture that in most takes he looked frightened or shocked.

... we finally did our passport photos and filled out applications. Soon we will each have a valid passport. Maybe one day we'll use them for travel!

... I love our passionate caregroup. Prayer time is so phenomenal. I'm so excited for growing with this group of people. And I'm so excited that it just so happens that there are others there from various countries of Africa. I can get help with hair!

... something special was said by someone I hardly know. But this something made me excited about our adoption again. It's amazing how just the right words, the most unexpected words, from an unknown person rather than those spoken to so often, can make a world of difference.

... my son fills me with so much pride that I feel like I'm bursting. Some how, in the same day, he can also fill me with an abounding amount of frustration and / or guilt.

... I love my husbands passion for serving others. He is inspiring. I love that God synchronized our passions to make an awesome team.

... my mom went on a vacation and I can't call her whenever I want to have my BFF chats. I'm missing her and want her to either get home or extend her vacation so it includes a visit to my house.

... I learned that I am a huge over achiever and it's okay for an over achiever to occasionally quit something when it benefits other areas of life. Shhh.... don't tell.

... after a long hiatus of reading due to busyness, I finally finished a book and have even started reading another one! Phew!